btuda

Long time, no see

2010-04-11T09:24:00.002-04:00

Ok, four months between posts is not my idea of a good blog. Sorry, out there.

Truth is, not much exciting is happening. Work, eat, gave the dogs a haircut ... did you really want updates on those?

Not For Those WIth Sensitive Stomachs...

2010-01-17T23:14:00.003-05:00

I just had to issue a disclaimer.

DH and I have been together for eleven years now! Wow!

Travis was turned 3 right after our first date. Now Travis is wanting to buy an old pickup truck to fix up for when he starts driving.

Argh! I'm not ready!

But DH is still the best and I'm keeping him!

Welcome to Indiana

2010-01-07T11:04:00.003-05:00

Argh - I am really done with this cold weather already. Christmas is over. Be gone.

So I am sitting at home with the dogs and my sister, waiting for DH to come home.

And I know it is so wrong, but I really want a pizza. Delivered.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong...

My day off

2010-01-04T14:10:00.002-05:00

Ok, that was a longer break than I planned on.

Christmas was pretty good, considering I had anticipated missing most of it. When you work retail, you tend to miss most of the festivities.

Today, it is bitterly cold out. I know I do not have it nearly as bad as some, but blah just the same. My sister and current new roommate told me our hometown got 16 inches of snow. Ugh. I'm too old for that stuff.

And don't worry. DH is still around. He's just generously agreed to let sister #1 stay with us a while until she finds a job.

You can't let family go homeless, you know.

The dogs are keeping me hopping. It's cold out, so no one wants to stay outside long enough to do all their business at once. *sigh* They do make great lap warmers on cold nights though. I'm just glad they are little. If I had those Irish Wolfhounds I've always wanted, the couch would have collapsed.

All for now. Happy New Year, everyone!

Oh ye of little faith ...

2009-12-20T00:37:00.003-05:00

See? I posted twice this month. Sadly, I'm too pooped to come up with anything brilliant,so you may have to amuse yourselves.

It's candle selling season, folks!

No, I really do live.

2009-12-11T15:33:00.002-05:00

Ok, sorry for dropping off the face of the earth. No internet for nearly a year will do that.

I now have internet at home, instead of just on my phone. Much better.

I'll try to do better about posting now.

I Live

2009-02-21T19:12:00.002-05:00

Hi there everyone.

No I didn't fall off the end of the earth. I just moved to a place where it's taken me two months to find out who offers internet service. I should be up and blogging again in a week or two.

And I love my new house!

Don't worry CBs! I'm trying to make my way back to you!

Day 7

2008-11-05T11:33:00.002-05:00

I spent three hours of yesterday with the house inspector going over the house. As far as I know, there are just a few minor things (an ungrounded outlet here, no safety cable on the garage door there) and a wee bit of mold in the crawlspace. Hopefully we can convince the owner to take care of these and we'll be on our way.

Observation: After spending three hours in my new home-to-be I decided that I hated the knobs on the cabinets. Then I added up all the knobs we'd have to replace: 37. Maybe they're not so bad anyway.

Also, the main bathroom has this funky brick wall treatment. I love the colors, but after pondering this for a while I decided it made me feel like I was taking a leak in an upscale-yet-still-seedy alley. Hmm.

Time will tell, right?

Buying a House - Day 4

2008-11-02T22:34:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I've already skipped days 1 through 3. I've been in a daze.

My darling husband, almost on a whim, decided he wanted to see if we could buy a house. You see, we currently rent, and the whole bit about not putting nails in the walls or painting with color is getting really old. We even managed to have a previous landlord who was certifiably insane.

Then the news about the housing market got really bad. The houses in our area are not really moving well, and as time went on, things didn't look promising.

Then we got the email. Yes, in the technological world we live in, we couldn't wait for a call and got the email first.

Back to the email: We were approved for financing. Our realtor, staying on top of the situation, knew nearly as soon as we did, thanks to email. She contacted the agent listing a house we'd looked at and it was still available. We took a second walk through and made an offer.

Thirty minutes later, we got the call that the owner wanted to counter offer, with only a $500 difference. Considering I was expecting the worst and am the world's worst negotiator, I had to ask our realtor this several times. We accepted, and now we are in the process of hiring an inspector to make sure the beauty of the place is more than paint deep.

Excuse me while I hyperventilate.

Have I said "Eek!" yet?

Let's Have a Roast

2008-08-21T22:02:00.004-04:00

Or not.

I was watching a roast on Comedy Central last night and I was struck by the fact it was the second such one that I've seen that was overwhelmingly not funny.

Apparently my brain took this as a sign to suddenly get creative after its long creative hiatus.

So now I present to you, me* at a roast.

*****************************************************

(Applause)

Thank you, everyone. And good evening. Or at least I still have hope. The night is young.

I want to tell you what an honor it is to be asked to X's roast. To be honest, I was quite stunned to be invited. I don't like roasts anymore. There's never enough carrots and potatoes.

Somewhere along the way, roasts have gone horrible awry. Instead of a joyous celebration of a friend's accomplishments, roasts now give me that uncomfortable feeling, like I've walked into someone else's gynecological exam.

While X is a funny human being, X has horrible taste in friends. Myself excluded.
My illustrious colleagues that have come before me, your accomplishments in the field are well documented. Some more in the police blotter than others. Imagine my joy at the comments about A's weight, B's not-so-handsome face, and C's illegal activities. There is nothing quite like a night like this to make you want to go home and kill yourself.

So in contrast, I shall not disparage those here tonight. But the ones who lamely skipped out ... I guess will never know. Unless they check YouTube.

To all of you who share this stage with me, do not fret if you feel that cold sweat of fear. You should be afraid. I've outed you all to your mothers. They are all awaiting you backstage with bars of soap. And not one of them wants to be kissed by that mouth.

Thank you, and good night.

Who Is Murphy, And Why Is He On My Vacation?

2008-08-04T09:29:00.002-04:00

Pfbt. Murphy is an optimist.

Lost job due to someone else's criminal activity.
Timing belt in car broke while on way to parent's house 3 states away.
Transmission went out in car on way back home after getting timing belt fixed.
DSS's fish jumped out of tank while we were gone. (He was too big to flush too.)

Good News:
At least is wasn't health related issues during the vacation.
MIL works for Doubleday and got me a whole bag of books for free.
More time with the dogs.
Sleep!
Still have the candle store.
Candle store manager threatened to sabotage my references so she could keep me to herself.
DH is being awesome about everything.

Looks like my list is leaning towards the positive!

Blowing off the dust

2008-07-22T11:52:00.003-04:00

I've got a little more spare time lately, so I thought I'd start this puppy up again.

Yay! Right?

I am currently involved with the big job search (again. What is this? Every five years I've got to do this?) Hopefully it will be a better fit. I really wasn't cut out for the bank. Loved the people, but I kept falling asleep during the meetings. Banking really didn't get my motor running. I will definitely miss the people I worked with though.

Well, this isn't much of a start, but here it is.

Later.

Pffbt

2008-03-11T19:32:00.002-04:00

Argh.

DH and I have matching sinus infections. Have I mentioned previously that under no circumstances should the two of us be ill at the same time?

My sisters are both avoiding me like the plague due to illness.

I just saw that they've set a date for my 20th High School Reunion. Excuse me while I hit my head against the desk.

There is no banana cake in my house at this moment. *sniff* *sniff*

I'm being overly grouchy and I hate that.

DH has invited his mom and his sister to go to dinner with us on Saturday. It was supposed to be just us and friends.

Did I mention the overly grouchy part? Because I really do love my MIL and SIL, but ...

I know DH is sick, but there is currently no card, no nothing here, and I'm feeling a little prickly because of it.

That and I'm grouchy and sick. And having a crappy birthday. Damn it.

Ok. Pity party over. Off to find those chocolate cookies and polish them off ASAP.

My sister just called. She basically said I'm a moron. No one likes to be sick. Especially on their birthday. Duh.

I hate it when she's right.

Our New Addition

2008-02-27T22:31:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago we brought a new addition into our family.

Her name is Sophie. She is currently snoring quite loudly on the floor behind me.

Here she is with her big brother Trent. Trent is on the left, Sophie on the right. She is the bossy little sister he never wanted. Poor guy.

They are both miniature schnauzers. Trent was a wedding present from a friend of mine that is a breeder. Sophie is a freebie from the local paper and a shelter rescue.

Sophie is doing very well with us with the possible exception of the time she yakked all over the couch. Of course, we did see the vet that day. She is learning to share better. Both dogs are snugglers. Lucky me. It's @#$% cold up here and they are nice additions to the blankets I wrap up in at night while watching TV.

I'm sure there'll be more adventures in store for us. See? I did promise pics and soon!

I Live.

2008-02-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

Yikes. The last post was before Christmas. And I have no idea what I had in mind for the "Adventure in the Mall" teaser. Please feel free to discuss and make up your own.

I have to admit it was pretty entertaining going in and finally reading everyone's Christmas wishes.

On updates, we've added a new member to our family over here. Her name is Sophie and she's a 3 year old miniature schnauzer. She looks a lot like our other dog Trent. I'll post her pic as soon as I find some batteries for the camera.

Thanks for checking back in with me folks. I'll try to do better now that I'm back on the internet.

Christmas Is Coming

2007-11-30T06:59:00.000-05:00

Duh. I work retail too. I've been hearing Christmas music since mid-October.

The good news is I'm starting to feel it. Thanksgiving is over. We assistants at work put up the tree in our department yesterday. I bought DH a present. That in itself was a major deal because it isn't even December yet. Well, Ok. December is tomorrow, but still.

I'm grabbing my compilation CD and putting it in the car. If I feel really brave, I might bring it into the office even.

The weather is getting cold. We've had to defrost the windows in the mornings. I just read a story in the newspaper from my hometown that someone hit a snowman with his truck and the head flew off, smashing another car's window. Ok, there's two things there. They've had some snow, and there is a certain mentality to the locals there. Still, kinda funny.

Yes, Christmas is coming. I'm not freaking. At least, not yet. I just may be in the enjoyment phase of it all right now, even working retail.

Happy Holidays, everyone. And no, that is not a cop-out. Whatever your flavor, whatever you celebrate, I hope it is a great one for all the right reasons. I happen to believe that the birth of a child in a manger made anything possible, and I wish for peace and goodwill for all humankind.

Next time: Adventure At The Mall. Or, What The @#$% Were You Thinking?

2007-11-05T12:40:00.000-05:00

RE: July 5th post

Dammit, Margaret. I expressedly forbade anyone else to die this year. That included you too.

I didn't have the heart to post that our family friend Nate passed away a few months ago. I knew you were going through your own rough spot. How could I possibly have the heart to say that someone else had lost the fight, the same fight you are fighting?

Nate's situation struck a nerve in me. I don't know why it hit me so hard. It just did. And even though you had your own troubles to deal with, you took a moment to hold my hand and pat my back. And I can only hope that my goofy comments made you smile from time to time.

But now there is no more pain, no more worries. I sincerely hope you are at peace now. Because if anyone deserves it, it's you.

All my CB love,
Brenda

Ouch

2007-10-05T12:19:00.000-04:00

Note to self: Having a YC jar candle lid fall on your head hurts. A lot.

Please refrain from doing it again in the future.

The Last Train to Funkytown

2007-10-01T08:37:00.000-04:00

I know. I just combined two song titles. So sue me.

First, this blog is suddenly taking matters into its own hands. It keeps changing the comments section and asking for moderation of comments. Grrr. I change it back, and it gets all fissy. So not going to deal with it right now.

I accidentally left the gate open and Trent got out last night. I was traumatized. It was 9:00 PM, pitch dark and we live near two busy streets. DH was at him mom's house 40 minutes away so I was by myself. Nothing like trying to find a little black dog in the dark. After about fifteen minutes of searching with DH's mag light and strange looks from the neighbors, I spotted him trotting back into our front yard. Coming from the direction of one of the busy streets. He actually came when I called him. I checked him out and he seems to be ok. I got him back inside and promptly locked all the doors (and the gate) so he couldn't give me a second coronary for the night. Then I had to call DH to let him know Trent was OK, as he was having flashbacks to when his last dog got hit by a car. Stupid dog. He's grounded.

Then after all the night's adventures, DH decided to live on the wildside and eat a sandwich with mayo without first checking the expiration date. Yep, it was a few months past Funkytown, so he was up half the night with food poisoning.

You see, this is why I avoid mayo at all costs. I am convinced it's sole purpose is to make people sick. Mayo, get thee away from me. Yeech.

And finally some good news: the co-worker of mine that was on medical leave is coming back. Relief is in sight. I'd do a happy dance except I'm afraid I'd knock over one of the piles of paper surrounding my desk.

I'm here. I'm alive. Trent's OK. DH will be OK.

Second verse, same as the first

2007-09-25T12:17:00.000-04:00

Argh. Still insanely busy, plus I decided to succomb to a nasty little stomach bug over the weekend. I'm better now. I've progressed to crackers with my soup.

I'm still around. I'm still peeking in at the B&G blog.

However, I'd give my right arm for someone to help with filing right now. My left arm is currently occupied with an IV for chocolate syrup.

Hope to have more soon.

Welcome to Acksville

2007-09-10T12:42:00.000-04:00

Yep, still buried at work.

Still horribly understaffed.

Still underpaid.

Still hoping there will be a bonus at the end of this mess.

Ack.

2007-08-15T12:21:00.001-04:00

That's for all you Bill The Cat fans out there.

It also sums up my day/week/month so far.

Not only am I trying to do the work of three people, but I've been told to train the new person too.

Riiiiight.

People in my department give me a worried look whenever I leave the building for lunch. Like they are afraid I won't come back.

Not that that idea doesn't have merit, but ...

I really do try to leave a place a little better than when I arrived. Silly me.

Argh.

Monday the 13th

2007-08-13T08:25:00.000-04:00

I normally am not overly superstitious. I like black cats. Broken mirrors do not freak me out. I do not cry over spilt salt (or was that milk?). And I do not particularly understand an aversion to Friday the 13th. It's Friday. I've rarely had a Friday so bad the weekend could not make it better.

However, Monday the 13th is something else entirely. It's Monday. It is normally my luck to have bad things happen on Mondays. And whatever happens, you still have the entire week to wade through. Ugh.

I usually try to ignore it. Kinda the "if I can't see you, you can't see me" mentality. Mature, I know. Sometimes it works though. Last week I jinxed myself. Worse, I put it in writing. On a blog, I wrote, "In exactly 2 hours and 45 minutes, I can officially claim to have survived this week." While technically, this was true, I forgot Monday the 13th was around the corner and therefore have been given another hell week to get through.

You see, I am part of what is normally a 3 person team that is down to 2 people. The other person was on vacation last week, leaving me to be the one left. One hour and forty-five minutes after I wrote those fateful words, I got a call from my co-worker and friend saying she was in the hospital. Turns out she will be in the hospital a whole week, then out from work another 6 weeks or so. Right now it sounds like she will be fine, for which I am extremely thankful. On the selfish side, it looks like I will have to scrap a long weekend that I was soooo looking forward to, deal with the transition of the new addition to my group, and handle the work of three people.

I'm just going to warn people now. There will be a serious dent in the world's chocolate supply after this week.

***Update: Well, hockey pucks. I have no idea if I'm still on for Dayton or not. Right after I was informed that my co-worker will definitely be out the next 6-9 weeks, I received the formal approval of my vacation request for those days. Which will be while she is gone. I have no idea what my department would do without an assistant for two whole days. Guess we will have to wait and see.

I've Been Googled

2007-08-09T08:36:00.000-04:00

My sister has taken on this enormous task of doing our family tree. She takes her laptop and scanner with her when she visits relatives and scans family photos. Getting all the names has always been the tricky part, but she is doing one heck of a job. She even started collecting the little funny family stories too.

Anyway, she was telling me that she was Googling our family name, looking for wayward relatives and she told me that she found me on the CB Bar and Grill. I just burst out laughing. I probably should put something out there that would send people here because the Bar & Grill will just confuse the hell out of people if they are looking for relatives.

So anyway, that's my big news of the day. I've been Googled.

Well, it's too hot to do much else.

Maintaining

2007-08-08T08:34:00.000-04:00

It's Wednesday. Happy Hump Day. I really have no idea what Hump Day is supposed to mean. I guess it means we are over the hump and the worst is over, it's all down hill from here. Somehow I just can't get the image out of my head that somewhere there are a bunch of dogs getting their jollies off every Wednesday afternoon.

The week is going much better than expected so far. I am under no illusions that it will remain so though. There has only been one hiccup so far, and it is part of the endless problem of the officers I work for having no idea what it is I need to do to make stuff happen for them. Yes, I can beg, plead, and offer my first born in order to get things done to the powers that be 400 miles away, but as of this date I have not been issued a magic spell that will allow me to pull legal documents out of my butt without the proper information to complete it, let alone have it ready by next morning. Sad, but true. My tiara may be slightly tarnished after this week, and a little less glittery, but them's the breaks.

In the candle shop news, I had a kickin' sales day. I still love the Halloween decorations we have and will probably have to buy another tote to store the new stuff in. There is a haunted house I am dying to get that you put tea lights in. Too cute!

I know we are barely a week into August, but I'm started to plan my Halloween movie night. Since I don't really like horror films, I'm thinking Ghostbusters. Blair Witch kinda freaked me out until I hit the mute button. It suddenly became a comedy with the subtitles on.

So, what kind of Halloweenish movies do you like to watch? It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is a given.

Primal Scream

2007-08-03T08:10:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd warm up for next week. It'll be a doozie.

*Ahem.*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!

Thanks for your support. You may now resume your lives.

Relaxation Tapes

2007-07-23T13:55:00.000-04:00

We had an absolutely gorgeous weekend over here. I helped a friend move and we were able to do all the up and down the stairs of her old apartment before 10:00 AM when it was still cool out. So nice. Of course, I really couldn't move the next day and I'm struggling to stay conscious today, but that is to be expected.

I received a new catalog in the mail the other day and I noticed that it had a section of "relaxation tapes", which reminded me of a phase my college roommate and I went through in school.

One weekend, probably around midterms, we decided to give those relaxation tapes a try. She bought "The Rainforest" while I bought "Thunderstorm." Being college students we were notoriously cheap, and if there is one thing I learned from the experience, you cannot go cheap on a relaxation tape.

We decided to listen to "Thunderstorm" together as we were studying in the living room.

(A gentle rain falls.)

Me: This is nice.

Her: I love storms.

(A crack of thunder.)

Me: See? Nice and relaxing.

Her: I hope I don't fall asleep. I have to study for this Psychology exam for tomorrow.

(Another crack of thunder.)

Me: Whoa. That was ... a little loud.

Her: You think?

(The wind picks up.)

Her: What is that?

Me: Why are there howler monkeys in the thunderstorm?

(More thunder and wind.)

Me: Good grief.

Her: Should I be calling Auntie Em?

Me: I thought this was supposed to be relaxing.

(The howling wind is now deafening. There are a series of loud crashes coming from the tape.)

Her: Let me see that tape case.

Me: Why?

Her: This is no thunderstorm. This is a freakin' tornado!

(A siren begins to wail.)

Her: We are going to die!

Me: Head for the basement!

Her: Tell my mom I love her!

(Tires squeal. Metal crunches.)

Me: What was that?

Her: I think a storm chaser just bit the dust. The idiot.

(More wind, and ominous thumping.)

Me: I think it just ate Kansas.

Her: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! Save yourself!

(Other roommate walks in.)

Other roomie: What is going on in here?

Me: Get down! You've got to get to the safe place! The tornado is going to eat us alive!

Other roomie: What are you talking about? The sun is shining!

Me: That's what it wants you to think! It's coming to get us!

Other roomie: For the love of pete ... what is that racket? Turn down the stereo!

Stereo? Oops.

The next day I asked her how her rainforest tape was. She said she wanted to shoot the damn birds after about three minutes and to not even get her started on the "Oo ee ah Ah AH!" thing every fifteen seconds.

So remember, kids: Don't go cheap on the relaxation tapes.

Rain

2007-07-19T08:14:00.000-04:00

After having almost no rain for what seemed like months, we are in the middle of our third day of scattered storms here. Yay for the farmers, but I think the rest of us are tired of it now.

The rain may explain an annoying problem I've been having this week. It has taken an act of god to get me out of bed in the morning. And I've been tired all day. I get to work, and I tell my co-workers that I need an IV with Diet Coke in it. They laugh, but I'm starting to think it's a good idea.

Today it's Vanilla Coke Zero, but I'm still thinking about an IV.

What's worse, I have a desk job where I do not necessarily have to move around much. Falling asleep at my desk is a real possibility. If I had an office instead of being out in the middle of the department floor, falling asleep would be a certainty.

Does anyone else have problems staying away on rainy days? What do you do to wake yourself up?

I'm off to take a short walk up and down the stairs a few times. If I don't get moving, I'll fall asleep sorting the mail.

I'm In Love ... With a Restaurant

2007-07-16T10:56:00.000-04:00

Well, OK. I'm in love with DH too. He took me to my favorite restaurant yesterday.

Let me back up. Last week was rough. It was hectic, frantic, and just about any other -ic words you can think of. TGIF nearly took on a religious meaning. I was so glad when Friday rolled around that I brought in Mary Lou Donuts for our department. By the way, Mary Lou makes the best donuts - ever. Better than Dunkin' Donuts. You can keep your Krispie Kremes. Give me Mary Lou Donuts any day of the week. OK, if you did, I'd look like donut, but you get the picture.

There is this Mexican restaurant chain over here called Hacienda. There was one fifteen minutes away from the house I grew up in. There used to be one here in Lafayette - heck that's the reason I agreed to move here - but now the closest one is in Kokomo. It's only a 40 minute drive or so.

I am in love with Hacienda.

As far as being "authentic" in terms of Mexican fare, I have no idea. Don Pablos once tried to kill me with heartburn, so no, it's not necessarily spicy-hot.

Most of my co-horts love it for their margaritas. I agree. They are good. They have a dreamsicle orange one that is absolutely divine, but I digress. I do go for the food.

I always order the same thing every time too. A shredded beef wet burrito with extra cheese. Please forgive me for drooling. The beef is like the tenderest pot roast ever marinated in subtle Mexican seasonings. It's wrapped with beans (not a lot), tomatoes, lettuce and burrito sauce inside a flour tortilla and a mound of cheese is melted over the whole thing.

So good.

Lately we've become fans of the chili con queso sauce with chips as an appetizer, as if the regular chips and salsa were not good enough on their own. I never eat chips and salsa anywhere else. And yesterday (due to fate, I believe) their mudslide dessert was half price. That would be a big chocolate chip cookie baked fresh, covered with three scoops of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge sauce. We ordered one with three spoons. *Sigh*

I waddled when I left the restaurant, but I was one happy camper.

So if you're ever in Michigan City, Mishawaka, Goshen, Elkhart, Warsaw, Kokomo, Evansville or South Bend and see a sign for Hacienda, be sure to wave. I'll wave back, I promise.

http://www.haciendafiesta.com/

Come on, people. That was funny.

2007-07-12T14:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, so yes, I've been in a bit of a funk for the past week or so, but come on. You have to admit that the "flaming turd" quote from DSS was pretty funny in the last post.

Yes, it was at the end of a rather morbid entry, but it is just one of those things that happens. Well, to me anyway. I'll be in a funk, mourning the only way I know how, and something will happen that will make me laugh hard enough to lay an egg. It reminds me that life has ups as well as downs, and that I will remember the phrase "flaming turds" far longer than a bible verse at a funeral.

Of course, that just may be part of my problem. I really should brush up on my bible verses, but dang it, the flaming turd story is just too good to pass up.

Stick Me With A Fork, Part 2

2007-07-09T08:54:00.000-04:00

My guinea pig up and died Saturday. If this isn't evidence that God has a twisted sense of humor, I don't know what is.

You see, on my last post I specifically forbade anyone else to die, that I was done with funerals. I suppose since technically Tiger wasn't a person, that left him out of the loop.

*Sigh* This really sucks.

It's been a rough week. A co-worker and friend passed away and I've been dealing with that both at work and at home. Then just as I was getting ready to leave for the funeral, I looked in on the guinea pig and found he had passed on as well.

I wonder if my friend likes guinea pigs.

It was left to me to break the news to my step-son. He already lost a hamster this year.

Me: Did you talk to your dad today?

Him: Not really.

Me: Did he tell you about the bad news?

Him: No.

Me: (muttering) Of course he didn't. Well, I've got some bad news to tell you then.

Him: How bad is it?

Me: Well, it's life.

Him: Okaaay.

Me: (taking a deep breath) Tiger passed away yesterday. I'm really sorry, bud.

Him: Well, that stinks.

Me: Yes, it does. It happened really fast and at least he isn't suffering.

Him: Trent's OK, right? (our dog)

Me: Yes. The vet said he is doing great.

Him: Good. That just really stinks about Tiger though. (A pause) Do you think the fireworks stand has any of those flaming turds left?

Me: What?

Him: Flaming turds. They are round and when you light them the turd comes out.

Me: Huh? You mean Snakes?

Him: Oh yeah. They look like turds though.

Ah yes. The brain of an 11 year old boy.

Meanwhile DH and I were digging a hole in the flower bed at 11:00 at night to bury Tiger so the neighbors wouldn't see. Like someone digging a hole in the dark isn't suspicious enough. Max (the hamster) is in an old check box in the other flower bed on the side of the house.

It is my most sincere wish that no one digs up the flower beds any time soon. I'd rather not explain all the bodies, however small.

Stick me with a fork. I'm done.

2007-07-05T08:17:00.001-04:00

A quick recap, as I've been gone awhile.

DH came through his medical procedure just fine and is now doing much better. He had scar tissue in his throat that was triggering coughing fits. He had an upper GI scope and the doctor was able to biopsy off the skin causing problems. He is doing very well, sleeping better (finally!) and back to work. Whew! I'm glad that set of worries is out of the way.

We decided against getting another dog just yet. With DH's procedure and some other expenses that have come up, it didn't seem practical for right now. When we are ready, we will go the same route and look to adopt one through a shelter or rescue.

Sadly, one of my co-workers and friends passed away on Monday. It was a huge shock. There are three of us assistants that work in my department. One was on vacation, I was there and the third was missing. It was a surreal experience where you just keep hoping that there has just been a misunderstanding. My boss ended up having to contact her brother and the police to do a welfare check and that's when they found out she had passed in her sleep the night before. She was a very good person, endlessly patient with my questions and will be missed fiercely. I cannot even think about the turmoil that her absence will leave at work, as she knew everything and did all the "icky hard stuff".

So I am going to say that after this, I am officially done with funerals for the year. I absolutely forbid anyone else to die. Nope, that's it. Finis.

*Sigh* I'm hanging in here, but I'm going to buy "The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes" by Crusie et al tonight. I need a little distraction for a while.

The Great Debate

2007-06-15T13:08:00.000-04:00

Ever have an opportunity come up where you know you should refuse for every practical reason under the sun and yet something is still pulling you in that direction?

I recently stumbled across a pet adoption web site and out of the hundreds of dogs on this site, one seems to be calling my name. Her name is Sadie and she is a little black schnauzer. It looks like she is a few years older than Trent but she's in good health.

Of course, money is tight. We are on a budget. We'd need to buy her own crate, dog bed, collar, leash and toys. It would be two vet bills. We rent the house we're in now.

On the other hand, unconditional love. Trent would have a playmate. It takes Trent four months to eat his food anyway. Her vet visit is taken care of for this year. I'm learning to cut Trent's hair (poor dog). She looks just like him, down to the uncut yet perky ears. We're used to the schnauzerisms of the breed. She won't shed. There's plenty of yard for both. And finally, she's just so danged cute!

Sigh. Sadie is a rescue and her foster family lives 3 hours away. Not a bad drive, not really for us.

DH and I talked last night. Her adoption fee is only $75, which I think is really cheap considering the other ones I've looked at and the medical stuff she's been through.

So we sent an email asking about her. We'll have to see what happens from here.

Adventures in Step-Parenting

2007-06-11T14:27:00.001-04:00

Cool. The last post was #100. A pretty significant milestone. If I were a tv show, I'd get a cake. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably have cake anyway.

Today began the annual ritual I like to call "Step-Parenting 101." It's a remedial course, namely because you would not believe the things you forget from last year. Now that summer vacation has begun, we have DSS on alternating weeks. Which means we get more day-to-day, real-life time with him, not just the It's-Dad's-Weekend-let's-have-fun stuff.

DSS is certainly his father's son. Translation: he is a complete bear to wake up in the morning. DH leaves for work at 6:15 AM. It really doesn't make much sense to have DSS up at that time, so wake up duties now fall to me. And yes, there are many a time that I've wanted to throw up my hands at the both of them and just let them rot there.

It is a fact of life that there are times when a step-parent will not agree with how the other parent handles certain things. The Ex and I are no exception. Heck, if we ever agree on anything, it'll be a miracle. Ok, to be honest, we both like Yankee Candles, and there is a Sparkling Grapefruit with her name on it too, but I digress (sorry, inside joke). In this instance, we disagree on the proper way to wake a child from a restful night's sleep in order to have them in the best frame of mind to face the coming day. At the ex's house, basically the kids know that once Mom starts yelling, it's time to wake up. I've heard stories about ice being tossed on them and cold water. I vowed to never resort to those tactics.

However, the result is that without the yelling, DSS does not seem to think that it is imperative that he get his rear in gear so I'm not late for work.

I regret to say I had to flick water on DSS in order to wake him up today (head hanging low).

Granted, it wasn't a glass of water. Merely a few drops, just enough to get his attention. That and I had been trying to find some sign of life for forty-five minutes at this point. I was at end of my patience.

I don't want to be a mean step-mom, really. So perhaps that is the reason I came up with the pirate theme of this morning's waking up ceremony. I turned the ceiling fan on high, sprayed him with water, started shaking the mattress, and began yelling, "AHOY, MATIE! HARD TO PORT AND TRIM THOSE SAILS, YOU SCALLY-WAG! ARRRR!"

Ah, yes. The look on his face was priceless.

Perhaps I do exaggerate a bit, but I did receive a really dirty look from DSS once his eyes opened this morning.

Besides, he should know by now that I am the nutty one. If he doesn't want to get up in the morning, I cannot be held responsible for what creative means my brain comes up with to make sure he does.

An Insight Into My Thinking Process: *Warning! Scary Up Ahead!

2007-06-06T12:25:00.000-04:00

(CMS, this is for you.)

Ok, so I'm reading this book that I can't even remember the title of and I keep getting distracted by my inner dialogue. Really. That is how little I am absorbed into this story.

First, it is a book I probably would not have picked out for myself. DH got it for me out of a free book bin. It was free. Enough said.

I thought I should probably give it a good shot. So this is how it went:

Hmm. An Indian crosses the desert. Almost sounds like a joke opening. A man walks into the bar and says ... ow! Tee-hee! Always cracks me up.

Ok. We have a snake. The snake is not doing anything. Why is he here? Maybe he'll bite the Indian ... no, still not doing anything. Why do we have the freakin' point of view of a snake in this story? On page two?

Oh, look. The page number says fifteen, but it is really page two of the story. I wonder if there are rules about this. Doesn't that mean that there are about ten blank pages padding the final page count? Are the pages at the end going to be counted too? I wonder if all books do this.

Hold on, maybe something is happening ... nope, still nothing. Oooh, as an added bonus, I now know the scientific name of the diamond back snake. WTH?

Back to the Indian. And back to the snake. And his snakey POV. *Sigh*

Well, it is third omniscient POV. Maybe snakey POV is allowed ... no, not really. I have a really bad feeling about this book.

Great. A western with a prostitute. Why did DH think I'd like this book?

Now don't be so hard on DH. He picked out a perfectly good book for you. He probably saw the words "By the Author of 'Bridges of Madison County'" on the cover and thought it might be a romance. Even if he did forget you hated that book.

Good. No more prostitute. Still not exactly sure what the Indian is doing running through the desert.

Hmm. Now there is a poker player. I wish I knew what was going on.

Ooooh! The smugglers just shot a cop for no reason! Something is happening ... and we're back to nothing again. Apparently they are just going to drive around the desert with the body in the trunk. *sigh*

Talk about your long nights. This book is taking forever. The poker player's mentor was just killed and I don't think my pulse even went up.

Hmm. This book is only one hundred and fifty-eight pages long. Seems a lot longer. Let's see if I can stick this out. Just to see if I can.

I really hope the book with the Titanic-like cover is better than this.

Or, I at least read it better than this. That's right. It's not the book. It's me.

Now I sound like I'm breaking up with the book. "I'm sorry, it's not you. It's me. We just want different things and should probably see other people ..."

***

I did warn you this was a scary place, right?

Popsicles for DH

2007-06-05T08:31:00.000-04:00

I tell you, the fun never stops over here.

DH needs to have a medical procedure. He is still having problems with the coughing fits which in turn is causing him to not get any restful sleep. The doctor thinks that he has scar tissue in his throat that food is getting caught on. It is also creating a tickle causing DH to cough even though nothing is there.

Basically they are proposing to do an upper GI scope to assess the damage and then cauterize any pockets or rough spots causing problems.

Yikes. DH still has his tonsils too, so we'll have to see if they stay in or come out.

It looks like we'll have to stock up on popsicles for a while.

Books and the Good Read

2007-05-18T08:09:00.000-04:00

Many of us read to relax. The public library is literally two blocks from where I work. The good news: all the money I save from borrowing vs buying books. The bad news: the library calls when a book request comes in, and they're calling at least twice a week, driving DH nuts.

Tuesday I visited the library and two of my requests were in. Yay! I'm currently reading a paranormal, but it's been a challenge to get into. Then I accidentally left it at work. So I did what many of you would have done with time on your hands and a TBR (to be read) pile awaiting. I picked up a new book. Oh, I fully intended to finish the other one first before I really got into the meat of the second one.

Ha.

Every once in a while I come across a series that might as well be my crack. I would give up food for the next page of one of these books, so you know how serious this is. Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum novels are one series. And one of the books I picked up the other day was the latest of the In Death series, "Innocent In Death" by J.D. Robb.

Oh. My. Bob.

I was sucked in, twisted up in knots, turned inside out, horrified and laughed out loud. That book went with me everywhere. To work, the BMV, and to bed. Maybe my eyes looked wild and feverish, because DH and the dog kept their distance. There was no amount of candle snorting that could bring me down off this buzz. For two whole days I might as well have worn a big red sign that said, "LEAVE ME ALONE. I AM TRYING TO READ MY DAMN BOOK."

I finished the book this morning, making me nearly late for work. Seriously, how can you possibly expect me to put a book down when I'm down to the last five pages? I might as well have tried to rip my own arm off.

So, whew. I'm better now. I LOVE books that make me all crazy when I read them. They make me think. I love the "A-ha!" moment when a clue falls into place, even if it is a half-second before the whodunit is revealed.

So now I'm going to try to get back to that paranormal. I still have hopes for it and Nora's book recharged my batteries somewhat (for those of you who don't know, Nora Roberts is the genius behind the J.D. Robb pen name).

Which reminds me, Jayne Ann Krentz has a new novel out. She is another author I go ga-ga over. She also has the distinction of having been the first author I met and where I instantly became a blathering idiot. Sadly, she probably won't be the last.

Which authors rev your engine?

So, how do you do it?

2007-05-17T09:39:00.000-04:00

Blech. Time for a new chapter.

Yes, things are hectic. Ok. Things are REALLY hectic right now. And I'm one of those people who does not handle stress well. Thank Bob I get to snort candles at the candle store. I didn't think aroma therapy worked for me until I started working there. Feeling that tenseness in your shoulders? Grab a Vanilla Cupcake, Vanilla Caramel, Buttercream or Cranberry Chutney and take a deep breath. Aaah.

And yes, I noticed the theme too. Now if you'll kindly ignore the fact that I'm drooling on myself...

Life's not perfect, but a few seconds of sanity helps.

Of course, there are books. If my Saturday remains clear, I'll be reserving a few hours to read my latest library book and light a relaxing candle. Can't wait!

I know I need to exercise. I've been told - often- that it will help. Quite frankly, I have no routine and it shows. I have been doing more yard work lately but that only does so much. And then the rain messes up my schedule and I've got a jungle in my yard.

So here are my questions: What do you do to decompress when stress levels are going through the roof? And how do your motivate yourself to cut out some time to exercise?

In Memory, Part II

2007-05-14T09:08:00.000-04:00

I've finally made it back. Physically, if not mentally.

Wilmington DE is definitely a 12 hour + trip, and I don't care what MapQuest says. DH, my sister and I left Friday morning at 8:30 AM. My other sister from Ohio had to work on Friday and flew into Philadelphia after work. As it turned out, we just reached Philly as her flight arrived so we swung by to pick her up. Then on to Wilmington. I think we got in around 11:30 PM.

The viewing for my uncle began at 8:30 AM on Saturday. The funeral was then set for 10:30. His widow has Alzheimer's and is in a very vocal and contrary stage, which made things interesting. Things were delayed several times, but finally everyone made it through with some degree of drama and some sedation involved. There was a lovely reception afterwards with lots of food (my family excels in food-oriented events). My folks took my sister back to the airport and we were finally able to crash at the hotel room. We had beautiful weather, and minimal headaches on the trip.

The trip back was relatively uneventful. We only made wrong turns twice, and I'd only consider the one time truly "lost". Funny, but even the not-so-nice areas have a certain charm when you are from out of town. We left at 8:30 AM from Wilmington and arrive back here in Lafayette at around 10:00 - 10:30 PM.

Yes, I feel like I've been hit by a cement truck today. Ugh. It's going to take awhile to recoup from this marathon.

Considering how close I came to saying, "Nope. Cannot do. Impossible," and then there was a tiny sliver of hope that made it possible. I still cannot believe I made it work. Uncle Ray was my godfather and I mourn the lack of time I spent with him. Years would go by between visits. I didn't get to tell him goodbye in person, and that is probably the biggest reason I was so upset about the thought of not being able to say a final goodbye at the funeral. Which is kinda silly if you think about it. I do believe you can say your goodbyes in your own time, at your own place, in your own way.

The trip was over 800 miles each way, and 8 of us from Indiana made the journey. For me at least, a large part of that was in support of my cousins and my father. Dad is not in the best of health, and Uncle Ray's death coming somewhat abruptly was a jolt. Hopefully, Dad will take it as a sign to take better care of himself.

Thanks for everyone's sympathies and hugs. It truly helped me start through this. I was pretty much able to keep it together until the first condolences started coming through. And that pretty much let me know just how much I was trying to juggle inside.

Thanks for sharing my quiet little corner with me.

In Memory

2007-05-10T14:11:00.000-04:00

I may be going dark for a few days.

My uncle passed away yesterday. While he was seriously ill and in a VA hospital, his passing was sudden and unexpected.

The funeral is in Delaware, about a 12 hour drive. If I can rearrange my work schedule in time, I'll be spending a lot of time on the road.

My uncle was a good man with very human flaws, and shared my dad's oddball sense of humor. You haven't lived until you've spent three hours in the car with the two of them going, "Turn left." "Left, right?" "Right." "Right?" "No, LEFT." Seriously. For three hours.

He will be missed.

You Again

2007-05-09T08:31:00.000-04:00

For the past few months, I've been stuck in stallsville with my writing. Yes, I partially blame one of the meds the doctor put me on because ever since I started taking it, the little scenes popping up in my head have been painfully quiet. Of course I haven't seen that nervous twitch since then either, but I'm holding out hope that the two are not related. I mean, you can keep your sanity and be a writer at the same time right?

Ok, quit the snickering in the peanut gallery. You know what I mean.

It doesn't surprise me that the paranormal I've been kicking around for the past year has been quiet. The original idea was an ensemble cast of six characters: a vampire, an angel, a witch, a shapeshifter, a human researcher and an unknown. Kind of an "Incredible Journey from Hell." The unknown is kinda fun because she begins to develop powers and no one knows what exactly she is, but suddenly both good and evil sides want her as a kind of weapon of mass destruction. And she could easily go either way as she tries to find her path. My problem with this one is fleshing out the characters. The Unknown, the angel and the vampire are easy. I'm trying to figure out if the others are necessary at this point.

Now the historical romance has been percolating for years now. It's evolved several times now. I went through a spurt where I had all these ideas and not enough plot to tie them together. It was like living with these people. I saw them buying food and supplies, going to business meetings, taking care of the horses - not exactly the riveting stuff that makes for an entertaining read. I began to feel, "Oh. It's you again." And trying to weave threads to connect the good stuff? Ugh. Not a recommended method.

And then the other night Tyler and Bethany popped in my head again. He kissed her for the (millionth) first time. She is suspicious of his motives, but hey, she is only human. And in love with him since childhood. Too bad after their first kiss she felt obliged to break his nose. And he was engaged to someone else. Kinda put a damper on the whole blossoming possibilities there.

I actually sat up in bed. I was that surprised to hear from them. Weaving that complex dance of courtship is what keeps stumping me. Too much and it becomes a joke. Not enough, there's nothing to hold interest.

I think it's time to dust off my old plot lines for Tyler and Bethany and make them work again.

Times and Adventures with Whooping Cough

2007-05-04T08:07:00.000-04:00

Poor DH. He's not been feeling well for over a month now and after a particularly bad night, I told him to go see the doctor again.

He has whooping cough.

WTFH?

Apparently it is making the rounds in these parts. Basically it is a bacterial infection (at least it isn't viral) that lodges itself around the back of your throat and likes to disguise itself as allergies and colds. The kicker is the violent coughing spells where you can lose your breath, making a "whooping" sound when you try to suck in some air. Some of the worst coughing fits are at night, sometimes to the point where you make yourself sick.

And it is contagious. We had to call his ex to verify DSS's shots were current or else we couldn't see him until DH has recovered (his are).

Well, yay us.

DH is on meds, so he is taken care of. Apparently I'm on the neighborhood watch program now. Both my sisters have been over in the 24 hours before we knew what he had and he had it awhile, according to the doctor. Yes, they were thrilled with news.

I talked to my mom and she told me us kids shouldn't have to worry because we all had our shots growing up. Au contraire, ma mere. The shots only protect you for a certain length of time and yes, you can contract it as an adult even if you have had your shots as a kid.

Now this part was news to me and I'll have to do some research to verify this is true. Apparently there is something in the new tetanus shot that covers you for whooping cough. How the two are related, I have no idea, but DH was told if you've had a tetanus shot in the past two years, you should be ok. Sadly, I've not had the opportunity to step on a rusty nail lately, so I'm at risk.

The main complications from whooping cough are exhaustion, dehydration, pneumonia, and cracking a rib from coughing so hard. Joy.

Now on the to fun stuff. I don't know what med is making DH really loopy, but he was hilarious this morning. He wanted me to wake him up when I got up this morning so he could call work and let them know what he has and how long he may be out. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Sweetie? Time to wake up, Ok?

DH: Hmph? Rwpr mmfpht hmm graptum snftt.

Me: OooooKaaaay. Sorry, I didn't catch that. You said you wanted me to wake you up.

DH: Rawrfbtfpr.

Me: *snort* Hey, wake up. You need to call work.

DH: Wabba gab ... did they get the school ...

Me: What was that?

DH: Did they ... get that thing at the school ... (snore) straightened out?

Me: Um, I must have missed that on the news last night.

DH: There was this thing ... bus training ...we doing ...

Me: Please tell me you didn't sign us up to drive a school bus.

DH: Huh? What are you talking about?

Me: *sigh* Nevermind. Are you awake?

DH: TV.

Me: Huh?

DH: TV over here. You ... middle. Another TV.

Me: Was the TV on late last night?

DH: Rbbsmtnpt.

Me: Was I hogging the bed again last night?

DH: No ... TV here ... push the buttons ... other TV ... *snort*

Me: Two TVs, huh?

DH: Uh huh. Who's that guy?

Me: What guy?

DH: The one standing with his back to you.

Me: (thinking: um, hi. There sure as hell better not be some guy standing in our bedroom while I'm in my PJs.) Sorry. I don't see him.

DH: He's with his wife. Over there. They own the go-cart shop.

Me: Oooo kaaaay. (thinking: what the hell is in that stuff they gave him?)

DH: (cracking his eyes open) What?

Me: Hmm? I didn't say anything. Are you awake now?

DH: Oh, be quiet. Don't mess with me when I'm not awake. (pause) What were we talking about anyway?

Me: You were saying something about school buses, tv sets and go-carts.

DH: Oh, be quiet.

Sometimes you just gotta laugh.

You know when you want to laugh and really shouldn't ...

2007-05-02T14:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, this is going to be a very low-brow, crass humor post. Maybe. Unless I find a way to BS my way around it.

(Yes, I am punchy again today. I think the sugar from the five chocolate chip cookies I ate finally kicked in.)

Ok, I just wrote a typo on one of those instant message thingamabobs and I can't stop laughing about it. It sounded painful. It sounded like an inner combustion problem. It sounded like a really gross case for House.

Actually the latter might not be so bad, as long as Wilson can tag along.

Back to the typo. It's like you know you shouldn't laugh when someone toots, but the expression on the lady's face beside him is priceless. And the more you try not to laugh, the funnier it gets.

I know. Sometimes you have to be there. Even worse, I was by myself on the instant message thingie when it happened. Kinda like the tree falling in the forest question.

Is it still funny if no one hears the joke? I'll let you know as soon as I'm no longer in danger of snorting myself inside out.

The Office and the Ghost Surfing the Web

2007-05-01T08:33:00.000-04:00

I'm still reeling with relief that my sisters and I won't be shipped off to live in a relative's broken home in the event anything should happen to my folks. I'd feel like someone's deadbeat cousin living on the couch in the basement.

(Warning: this author is a bit punchy this morning.)

I'm more than a wee bit tired this morning. At my day job, there are three of us assistants who work for the 9 officers in my department. One of the assistants is on vacation this week (alas, 'tis not I. I warned you I was punchy this morning). Apparently the super-secret code phrase for all hell breaking loose is voicemail and email reading, "I am currently out of the office..."

By what basic math skills I possess, you could assume that the remaining two assistants' work load would increase by 50%. Sadly this is not true. Without any exaggeration, I can safely state that our work load has increase by 200%. Diet coke and chocolate are coming into his place by the truckload.

I fell into the sleep of the nearly-dead last night, only awake to the light of the computer monitor. At 3:00 AM. WTH? DH woke when I turned it off and I asked, "Were you on the computer after I fell asleep last night?" He replied that he hadn't been on since early afternoon. Okaaaay. So either he conveniently "forgot" or something moved the mouse enough to wake it from sleep mode.
And I crate our dog at night (trust me, he actually prefers it that way).

Not that I think the dog is surfing the net and looking at the PetSmart website. Well, if he did surf the net I'd hope it was the PetSmart site and not some slutty poodle's site. I mean, we did have him neutered and boy, he's never forgiven us for that either. I'd also rather not think I have critters big enough to turn on the computer while I sleep. So yes, darn tootin' I hope DH was on the computer last night.

And before everyone threatens to take away his GAM-in-training status, this is the guy who, when I caught him gawking at a blond in a very tiny bikini mowing the lawn, could tell me down to the make, model and deck size of the mower, but didn't even know it was a woman mowing the grass. Or so he says. The man does know his machinery.

I know how to check the computer's cookies and history. If you need a car part, DH knows a site or two that can help. He found a car antenna that looks like a rod and reel for my dad for Father's Day.

Well, I've got to get to work. It's going to be one of those weeks.

2007-04-26T08:08:00.000-04:00

I just finished two books and I am trying to figure out why one took me two weeks to read and the other two days. Yes the one was slightly longer than the other, but I can't remember the last time it took me two weeks to read a book. Wait - I take that back. It was one of the Bronte novels whose title escapes me because it was a classic I never got around to reading before. I enjoyed the novel. I think it rhythm of the prose that took me so long. I don't know. Maybe there is something about the meter of speech from the 1800s or even the early 1900s that slows me up. In a way that is good, like savoring the taste of a new food and trying to decide if you like it or not.

Incidentally, I typically hate "the classics". I'm not too terribly fond of award winners either. I guess my beat comes from a different drummer. I did like "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh." But if someone offered me money to reread "Sister Carrie" I think I'd rather be driven over by a bus. In fact, I remember wishing a bus would run over her. I guess that would have been a hackney or hansom (sp?) cab back then, but you get the point.

Anyway, novel A was a mystery. I like mysteries. I inherited that from my dad. I think he at one time owned every Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie novel in paperback. This novel was by a reputable author with several other novels in print. Maybe it was because of the odd mood I've been in of late. Maybe there were too many characters and I couldn't keep them straight in my head. I hate that when that happens. Even as late as 50 pages to go in the novel, I had to flip back and figure out who the protagonist was because I kept confusing her name with that of a secondary character.

Now the second novel was a romance, also by a reputable author. It had far less characters to keep straight. There was a bit of a mystery that I saw coming a mile away, but I am one of those insatiable people who has to know if the hunch is right (I was). The hero was a little too good to be true, hardly any growth other than "hey, I think I just fell in love." But then again, I've always been a bit of a sucker for those knights in shining armor.

I did like both books. I just thought it was odd that one took me so much longer to read than the other.

I think I need another run to the library. I have a feeling I'll be wanting the escapism this week. Sunday I found out that my uncle was in the hospital. Normally I call my folks on the weekend, but I got sidetracked. The more I thought about my uncle, the more concerned I got, but I tried to shake it off. I mean, if it was serious, someone would have called, right?

I called my folks last night. My uncle is not good. Basically a lifetime of vices and weaknesses have caught up with him. I'd like to say we were close. He is my godfather, but he moved out to Delaware when I was little and I really haven't seen him very often. The last time I saw him was at my wedding four years ago. And yet I really feel smacked upside the head about this. Even over the phone, I could tell my parents were beginning to grieve, and I felt myself beginning to do so too.

DH and I talked about this some last night. Unfortunately, we are reaching a stage in our lives where the death of aunts and uncles is probable and in some cases, a waiting game. I'm just afraid I am not ready for this particular stage of life. Maybe I'm afraid that it will be a domino effect. Then there are our own parents to consider and I don't want to even consider it. It doesn't help matters that the last time I saw my folks they sat me down and told me some of the updated details of their will (on the lighter side of things, my sisters and I were going to sent to live with some divorced relatives - DH thought that was hilarious since we are all nearly all over age 30 and the relatives had about the ugliest divorce ever).

For everything there is a season, right?

My Super-Secret Decoder Ring Came In The Mail ...

2007-04-17T08:15:00.000-04:00

I used to be really good at keeping secrets. Ok, it was mainly because I have a short attention span and would forget things almost instantly, but it was still a point of pride with me that I could be depended upon to keep a really good secret.

Then I met all my on-line friends, my beloved on-line confessors, and suddenly it took more willpower to keep my yapper shut than to pass on slice of oreo cheesecake.

But I did it. I kept a secret for almost two weeks - until it was time for the secret to be revealed. *Sniff* I am so proud of myself.

I belong to this great group of readers, writers and Jennifer Cruise fans called the Cherry Bombs. One of our horde, Bryan, had the honor of having one of his prints being selected for a juried art show in Bloomington. Very cool and a big deal. I received an email from CMS (aka Sheryl) saying hey, she and Me (aka Karen) were coming in town to support Bryan and did I want to join them. Since I only live about two hours away from where the art show was being held, I was all in.

Oh, I have to mention this. CMS came all the way from Ontario, Canada and Me from near Detriot, MI. These ladies are into some serious road trips.

DH and I took half a day off work and headed off to Bloomington. We traveled about 30 minutes before we were overcome with hunger and decided we couldn't drive another mile without eating. Yes, I know. We should plan our mealtimes ahead, especially on a roadtrip with a timetable. We ended up at Arni's, a local restraurant that thrives on pizza and stromboli. I didn't used to like thin crust on my pizza. Arni's helped widen my horizons, not to mention my pant size.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: "Honey, I know a short cut ..."

Ugh. I know, I know. I even looked at it on a map myself. It did look shorter, more scenic too. I am starting to realize the word "scenic" is another word for "school bus route from hell." I don't even think there were kids living in those houses. Maybe the bus drivers was looking for Oprah updates, or were in need of Dr. Phil.

So on we went to Bloomington. I received my Bachelors degree from Indiana University - Bloomington, so I was really looking forward to the trip. Spending four years there, certain things stick in your mind. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the city from moving the streets around on you. One way streets were now either two way or going in the opposite direction. Some streets were renamed and rerouted just to mess with me, I think. It was a minor miracle that we ever found the university, considering we had no idea what side of town we ended up on. Familiar landmarks turned out to be mirages in the sand, unless Bloomington suffered an unprecidented seismic eruption that rearranged the town.

Luckily I managed to find the Optometry building where I knew there was a parking garage and the building we needed was close by. Sure, I had to circle the block twice to get there, but this was progress. Now we were only running about 30 minutes late for the art show. According to my map, we were close. So close!

One thing about progress. There always seems to be construction somewhere. As we navigated our way through a jungle of orange construction fences, I called CMS to let her know we were close. She said she'd meet us outside by the steps. Yay! I was moments away from meeting my first CB!

Somehow we ended up on the wrong side of the building and had to hike up three flights of stairs to get in. Luckily, the stairs we needed to meet CMS were directily opposite the doors we came in instead of off some odd angle of the building like some are. We spied CMS. So here we come, Weezie and Woozie (DH and I were both sporting lovely colds), panting our way through an explanation of why we were coming from inside the building.

We made brief introductions and headed back inside. The art show consisted of a room about the size of my living room plus the hallway. And there were about 200 people crammed inside, bringing the temperature up to about 90 degrees in the hallway. DH hardly sweats, but that is OK because I was doing enough of that for the both of us. Not the first impression I wanted to make, but what can you do?

Finally we tracked down Bryan and Me. Bryan seemed a bit shell shocked but I wasn't sure if it was because of the surprise CBs or the whole art show gig, but he was rolling with it. That was fine, because I felt incredibly short. Within moments we were all laughing and chatting like old friends.

Now the art show was part of the Kinsey Institute and was an exhibition of erotic artwork. I didn't bother trying to explain this detail to my family. I was there to support Bryan and his tastefully elegant print. There were several equally tasteful artworks (Bryan's was the best, of course), but there are always the OTHERS.

Not to be confused with the OTHERS from the TV show "Lost" (although that may explain a few things), the OTHERS represents those works that either make you say, "Well, it's art," or "It's avant garde," or even "What the hell is that?" (DH, to his credit did not utter the latter once all day long. I am very proud of him.) The winning work fell into that abstract category. I swear, if I saw a little clown fish swimming next to it, I never would have thought twice about it. Maybe it was a series of sweat glands or whatever makes pheromones. Or balloon animals that went horribly awry. As for the other works, I'm not sure I'll look at mosaics, tissue holders or banks ever the same again. Hey, that's art. There is something for everybody. I just thank Bob Bryan's work was something you could identify what it was. I don't know that I could have handled it showing up blind and find a friend's entry listed as "Erotic Boogers on a Plate." Not that there is anything wrong with that -- wait. Yes, there is A LOT wrong with that, but I won't go there.

After the show, Me, Bryan and CMS showed me Philosopher's Walk. It was rather disappointing. It was three feet long. Maybe it used to be longer and erosion got to it. The campus environmental crusaders better get on that. What kind of ideas can you possibly get in three feet of walk? "I think I never shall see; a vision as lovely as a ... dang kamakaze squirrels!"

We met back up at Chili's, a bar and grill in honor of the CBs. I didn't get lost on the way there. I had a moment where I couldn't find the car again, but I persevered. Well, ok, it was the parking garage with the car inside it. Me valiantly demonstrated the dangers of trying to shoot a margarita up one's nose. I pondered the possibilites of changing my on-line name to "you." To go with Me. People would say, "You know," and I'd reply, "Why, yes I do." I'd also know what "You" did last night and who "You" were with last night." In fact, I'd know what "You" are doing right now. The possibilities are endless.

We also decided that some of the sobriety tests at checkpoints are simply made up by the officers in order to pass the time on a long night. And if you break into the macarena you just might be arrested anyway for being a danger to society.

It was a great night. They were all very funny and very nice. And no one said anything when my mascara gave up the ghost and gave me wild raccoon eyes from laughing so hard. (Yes, it was waterproof mascara - trust me, it's an ongoing problem).

So to Sheryl, Bryan and Karen: cheers, my friends. I hope we meet again soon.

You have got to be kidding me ...

2007-04-12T08:07:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we had thunderstorms and tornadoes. Today it's freaking snowing - the big puffy flakes too. A few weeks ago we were all wearing shorts. What's up for tomorrow? All of the above?

Just start calling me the Lady of Perpetual Layers. I have no idea how to dress anymore.

An Ode to Spring

2007-04-11T08:10:00.000-04:00

Welcome to amature poetry hour. *ahem*

The sun is shining
The day is aglow
Yet I feel I should be watchful
For what, I do not know.

The early spring flowers are blooming
The trees regain their leaves
It is a special time
Before hornets, wasps and bees.

A spring shower passes
Washing away winter’s grime
The air is fresh, the temps are warm
All looks new, like a shiny new dime.

I cannot shake the foreboding -
What is that I see?
Red buds by the thousands
Fallen off the trees.

Curse you, red buds!
For I know what is next
My annual pilgrimage to pharmacy
My life savings in Rx.

Oh it starts innocently enough
A sniff, an occasional sneeze
My eyes redden, my nose runs
My cough turns into a wheeze.

Oh, curse you red buds!
You signify the worst
Just as the weather turns nice
My sinuses feel they shall burst.

Only now it isn’t just red buds
The changes have me beat
I don’t know whether to fire up the air conditioner
Or turn up the heat.

My allergies evolved into my annual springtime cold
A freight train that cannot be stopped
There is nothing like feeling miserable
A good time to be had, not.

Curse you, red buds!
We do this every year
From allergies to colds to hacking cough
And keeping Kleenex near.

I called my Mom
My husband made me soup
The thing I hate the most is
Always feeling pooped.

So here I am
Forced to tough it out
Hard when you feel like such a baby
And feel grumpy and want to shout.

Anb so dis is my stoby
Abou ‘ow I gob dis code
I reabby habe dose reb buds
*Sigh* 'aybe I shoub habe my nose.

Meet Your New Neighbors!

2007-04-09T15:38:00.000-04:00

Hope everyone had a good Easter. If you don't celebrate Easter, hope you had a good Sunday, or whatever you wish to celebrate.

The laughs never stop at my house. My folks are in town. They have a 100 pound golden retriever named Molly. My dog Trent weighs in a 15 pounds. He's the little brother she never wanted.

I discovered that Molly likes jelly beans. Except when one was dropped in her general direction, she would gulp it up only to promptly spit it back out and look at us sadly. Then Trent would swoop in and snatch it up. Then Molly would go back to looking at us sadly. I swear, they did this a dozen times. Not just jelly beans though. Ham, bread crumbs, doggie breath mints, whatever. Molly would drop it, Trent would eat it, and Molly would just look sad.

We baked a ham and since I am limited for counter space, DH put the roasting pan outside. He went to put in inside our old grill to keep the critters out of it, but when he opened the lid, he was faced with the biggest bird nest I've ever seen. Naturally, there are five little eggs inside. So much for putting the grill out with the trash this week (we just bought a new one).

So now we have to wait until the eggs hatch and the baby birds fly away before getting rid of it. I'm sure it's nice and toasty right now, but I really hope it doesn't get too hot in there once the weather stays warm.

Somehow I've lost any taste for Cornish hens.

Pffbt Part 2

2007-04-06T08:09:00.001-04:00

Doesn't it just figure.

My new toy, the DVR, had a "component malfunction" (ie, it would not correctly program TV channels) and we had to take it back.

And the store does not have any more. Not only that, they do not plan to get any more in. The next closest model costs nearly $60 more.

OK then. I'll drive around town on the off-chance that there is still one model left in one of the stores at the price I can afford, but I won't hold my breath.

Well, the toy was fun while it lasted. It'll be a few weeks before we buy another one. At least I got my wedding video taped and DSS's baby video.

In other news, my folks are coming to visit and the temperatures just dropped 30 degrees so we are hovering around freezing again. Maybe we should have all gone to their house for Easter. It's gotta be warm there than it is here.

A Fish Called Wanda ...

2007-04-04T08:08:00.000-04:00

.... or Goldy, in this case.

It's kinda hard to have high expectations for a day that starts with a dead goldfish.

I feel bad. I had no idea he was sick. You see, he shares a tank with a sick goldfish named Nugget, who I really expected to have to flush two months ago but is hanging in there. The poor guy can't see and is looking pretty ragged.

Goldy had personality. Ok, Goldy was also a carp. Nothing against carp, but the sucker was 8 inches long and reminiscent of the popcorn eating monsters at Lake Freeman by Indiana Beach. Goldy liked to flick water at DH. Well, I thought it was funny.

*Sigh* Time to break the news of another deceased pet to DSS.

Pfffbt

2007-04-03T10:25:00.000-04:00

Well, ok. My new little toy is being ornery, but that's all right. I know I hold the power. Really. Otherwise that little puppy is going back in the box and back to the store.

But I don't think it'll come to that.

The toy is the new DVR I just bought. I taped my stepson's baby videos over the weekend, and I don't think he had ever seen them before. I can't imagine, but growing up, we always looked at our pictures, slides, and scrap books. Yes, my sisters and I know every blackmail picture, its precise location, and who has a copy of it.

The problem with the DVR is that I can't get all my cable channels to program. I'm sure its just a little glitch, but sheesh. I've checked all the plugs several times. I mean, I used to joke that my major in college was programming the VCR. Now I feel old. All my hard-earned technological knowledge is obsolete.

But on the plus side, the picture is crystal clear on channels 1 through 13.

Egads, but I may have to call the customer service number. *gasp*

Weird Science

2007-03-30T08:05:00.000-04:00

(Ok, so that was as close as I could come first thing in the morning with a movie reference to a technology-oriented post.)

I love my gadgets. A lot of women prefer flowers or jewelry for birthdays and anniversaries. One year DH bought me a DVD player. I was in nirvana. Of course, I'm a movie and TV geek too, so it all ties in.

I began my college career in photojournalism, discovered I was so-not-outgoing enough to go get the who-what-when-where-whys and hows of the photos I shot. I was more of a hit-and-run photographer. "Who's that?" "I have no idea. Isn't that a great shot?"

I quickly meandered over to Telecommunications where I concentrated on Broadcasting and Media Writing. I discovered I could make stuff up with the best of them. Unfortunately, there were not a whole lot video production companies out in the middle of the corn fields I was living in and I was finding it difficult to set off for parts unknown on a hope and a prayer of finding a job.

Now you have to remember that I was in college from 1988-1992, and CDs were a fairly new thing. The You Tube and digital media craze was barely haze on the horizon. Now you can shoot and produce virtually anything anywhere. Back then I was hesitating about moving two hours away for the gritty streets of Chicago, and even then there was not a great demand for AV people outside tv stations.

Part of me thinks about what it would be like to go back to college and do my Video Production and Writing over again. Then again I like getting paid too. Maybe I'll just invest in some Photo Shop and Video Editing software for my computer and make believe I'm George Lucus again. I always wanted to edit scenes from the original trilogy to the song "Night on Bald Mountain." Pesky copyright rules.

Anywho, last night DH and I bought our latest little toy - our first DVD recorder. It's nothing fancy, I assure you. No need to track me down and break into my house. You might be tempted to bring some of your own stuff over. "Good lord, they still have a turntable. Fred, give them your MP3 player."

Our VCR has been taunting me lately. It's annoying. I can't put my finger on it, but I think it's planning a revolt. I'd better record my wedding video to DVD before it eats everything in sight.

And since DH and I are feeling old, we got ready for bed at 10:00 last night, leaving the DVR in the box. A few years ago, that never would have happened. We would have been recording infomercials at 2 AM, just to see it work. Naturally, I couldn't help myself and set the thing up this morning.

I missed breakfast and was nearly late for work. Oh well :)

This is dedicated to the one I love ...

2007-03-29T08:18:00.000-04:00

Happy Anniversary, sweetie!

Ok, you guys. I'll come out and play with the rest of you tomorrow.

Move along. Nothing to see here ...

This city girl would never make it in the wild.

2007-03-26T08:17:00.000-04:00

Gorgeous weather yesterday. The temps were just below 80 degrees, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, children were laughing.

I mostly stayed inside. I did have the windows open though. Does that count?

Every year I complain that I never see the spring. I feel like I go straight from my winter coat to my air conditioning. I love 70 degree weather before the humidity blankets the area like a suffocating blanket. This year I remembered why that is.

Oh, it all started innocently enough. DSS announced the flowers on the side of the house were starting to sprout up. (The landlord must have planted things that come up every year because I certainly have no talent for it.) There is a little wooden fence along the front sidewalk and right next to the sticker bush springing up, I saw the most adorable tuft of green capped with little purple flowers.

How pretty! I thought. How come I always seem to miss this fun stuff? Winter is being washed away and revealing fresh springtime. The grass is getting green again. The dog is frolicking is Bob-only-knows-what in the back yard. I'm actually thinking about how much mulch we are going to need for the flower beds.

Then it hit me. Saturday we had rain. In it's wake, thousands of these little red buds from the trees covered our cars and driveway. My smile began to falter. It. Was. Those. Little. Darned. Buds. Again.

I hate those little red buds.

Sure enough, my allergies hit me like a freight train. My eyes watered. I sneezed. I sniffled. I hacked. I even prayed (it was Sunday, after all). To no avail. I'm even on year-round allergy medicine. I had an allergy induced migraine hit about 4:00 AM this morning. In a flash, I was reminded why I hide indoors until it was too hot to do anything. I hide from those darned little red buds and whatever else is in the air when they hit the ground.

Curse you, tree pollen!

Maybe it's a sign. The reason our Spring Break vacation was canceled was that those little red buds were coming out, determined to wreck havoc in my life again.

Of course, this is always the time of year things get interesting between DH and I. He's an outdoors person, and I hide from tree buds. Sometimes there is more than a little friction over my desire to stay indoors just as spring fever hits him like a steam roller.

I guess I'd better get that secondary allergy medicine refilled today. You know, the script that's been sitting in my purse since last week and just might have prevented half of all this. But then I'd have nothing to post about.

Don't you hate it when that happens?

2007-03-22T09:32:00.000-04:00

I sat down, ready to enter a post that was funny, light and fun.

Then *poof*! It's gone. I have no idea what I was going to say. Not one clue.

If it comes to me, I'll let you know.

So ... what's up with you folks?

Must think positive

2007-03-20T09:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, so our family Spring Break vacation was just cancelled. So what if the ex is once again rearing her Medusa-like head. So what if certain aspects of my life are lazily circling in mid-flush in the Great Comode of Life.

Pfbt. I'm trying to remain positive here.

1. I have ice cream in the freezer.

2. I live in a decent neighborhood with lots of sidewalks where DH and I can take nice long walks like we did last night. We almost got eaten by only one hellhound, at that.

3. I have a new stereo and am getting new tires on my car.

4. I have a spare car that despite having earned every one of its 201,000 miles, still runs ok.

5. My step-son is generally a pretty decent, good-hearted kid.

6. The bad brake on DH's car did not turn into something more serious before it was found and fixed. (Um, yikes.)

7. My folks are in good health. And I get along with my in-laws who are also in good health.

8. My sisters, despite throwing themselves whole-heartedly into being pains in my behind, threw themselves whole-heartedly behind me, indignant in my behalf, when something sucky happened.

9. I have on-line friends, that despite distance, ability, or even knowing what I truely look like, will rally around with shovels, if necessary.

10. My dog adores DH and I no matter what is going on. Especially if we are holding a piece of cheese.

Ok then. I feel better already. And I will think positive. Because I gave up stress for Lent.

Astounding! Decent weather on my Birthday!

2007-03-12T08:07:00.000-04:00

Ok, folks. In my now thirty-seven years on this planet, I've had my birthday in every freak snowstorm imaginable, sub-zero temperatures, and even tornados. This year, IT WAS GORGEOUS. Temps in the mid-fifties, the sun was shining, birds were singing. For March, let alone my birthday, this was just short of miraculous. Of course, it was Sunday, and I did go to church, so maybe someone is trying to tell me He's noticed that I'm trying a bit harder of late.

And here is photographic proof that yes, the sun was shining. That's us: DSS, Sister #1, DH and me in the black jacket. Sister #2 is taking the picture. Hacienda is my favorite restaurant, and worth every second of the 40 minute drive to get there. Actually it is the only mexican restaurant I like, and has a shredded beef wet burrito that will melt in your mouth. That, and I think I ran them out of chips and salsa.

It's been a very good weekend. DH got me/us a new car stereo. My car on a daily basis, but ours on weekends and family trips. I LOVE my tunes. I am a complete diva in the car. Of course, reality is always a harsh blow. For example, the time I was singing along, waiting at a stop light with the windows down, and the @#%$! radio conked out. Let's just say I amused way more people than normal that day. So, yay to the new stereo!

I had a very good day, topped by the banana cake with buttercream frosting. Oh my Bob, is there any wonder I'm still full? Well, except for another slice of cake. There is always room for more cake...

Let the Party Begin

2007-03-09T08:16:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm feeling giddy, punchy and - can you believe it - happy today. Of course, some of that could be the meds I'm on, but I'll take it.

DH gave me the best present last night - a new car stereo. (Picture Snoopy Happy Dance or Steve Martin's Happy Feet here.) The old one would conk out all the time. Hit a pot hole, no music. Urgent news flash, it would go out. We drove home during a tornado once because the stereo went out and we didn't hear the thing was RIGHT THERE. If it wasn't for the tornado sirens and the bushes rolling down the street, we would have just thought it was another thunder boomer. Fun.

I gotta have my tunes in my car. For the short drive to work, I pretend I can actually carry a tune. Yes, I'm in full American Idol mode. I, too, think I can sing like Aretha, Dusty, and the Righteous Brothers. And hence, my acute embarrassment when I was singing along with the stereo with the windows down last fall, waiting for the light to change, and the stereo went out, leaving me the object of more than a few amused looks.

Of course, right now the clock is off by 7 hours and the demo keeps flashing on the display, but I've got my tunes now. I can read the instruction manual later.

I'm a happy camper.

Snow: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow (Or, Thank God It Finally Got Above Freezing)

2007-02-26T06:36:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are the photos of our snow storm from two weeks ago.

Here's Trent coming in from the snow. In the four years we've had him, this was the first time he's seen snow too deep for him to run around in.

This is the snow coming down the evening of the blizzard. Living in a subdivision, our roads were not the main priority to be plowed. As you can see, there is already more snow on the ground than we normally see all year.

Yes, that is a snow drift up to the window of my Saturn. And this was parked next to the house. There was a higher drift right where the sidewalk should have been. Lucky for me, some good Samaritan with a bigger snow blower cleared the walk for us and the neighbor. Our snow blower was not big enough to blow the snow over the snow drifts so we were looking at doing it by shovel. Thanks again, Neighbor.

Ah. Nothing like digging out a place for the dog in the back yard. Trent was traumatized. He couldn't find any grass or figure out why all the white stuff took up all his space. And those bar things sticking up out of the snow? That's an old lawnmower DH was getting rid of.

Naturally, the temps here (finally) went back up to the 40s and 50s, so most of this is all gone. You know, you almost kind of miss it. Especially when you're left with the nasty dirty stuff.

Hmm. This last picture doesn't want to post. I'll keep tinkering with it, but I think you'll get the idea anyway.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2007-02-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

Yes, now it is my mom's birthday. Well, actually Monday was. Yes, I actually mailed her card on time, but with President's Day, it was still late. Pffbt. Some days you can't win for losing, I guess.

I had a doctor appointment today. I've been bad. I gained weight, my blood pressure's up and my blood sugar is up. Is it any wonder I have a terrible craving for a fudge brownie sundae? Pffbt.

We were socked with a minor blizzard two days before Valentine's Day. I only say minor because we only got 17 inches, plus the four foot drifts. People in New York will have no sympathy for us here in Indiana. Still, I'll try to post some pics soon. We don't get many snow days anymore, so in some ways it was kinda fun. One of the newscasters actually said, "It looks like a lot of people's Valentine's Day will be snowed in. I wonder what people will do?" I thought the other newscasters were going to lose it. I guess he'll find out in about 9 months when he's covering the sudden baby boom.

And yes, in case you were wondering, DH and I had a nice V Day. He brought me a pair of roses and a box of candy and we did the going out for dinner thing a few days later when the roads were safer. The actual day was more like Casual Valentine's Day, Pre-Valentine's Day. Nice and relaxing. We don't go all out and since we're both kinda quiet, we try not to get too hung up on things. I mean, this is the guy who's idea of picking me up a little something is to bring me a box of my favorite Pop Tarts. He keeps me sane and grounded. *Sigh*

Let's see - what else has been going on? I gave the dog a bath and haircut, but I'm sure no one is really interested in that. Until I think of something reasonably interesting to add, that's all for now. Pics will be coming soon!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

2007-02-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

*Sigh* In typical me fashion, I'm late. Yesterday was Dad's birthday. Don't worry. I did call - twice in fact. His card is late, his gift is late and even this post is late.

Even though he said it was fine, I feel terrible about it. Don't you hate it when you do stupid stuff to the people that mean the most to you?

So with a healthy dose of deeply ingrained Catholic guilt, Happy Birthday, Dad. Just celebrate all weekend long. You know, to include us slackers.

Movie Review: Black Dahlia, The Gridiron Gang, Invincible & The Illusionist

2007-02-05T13:00:00.000-05:00

I had a coupon so DH and I went nuts and rent FOUR movies. Woo-hoo!

The results were 50/50. I really didn't like the Black Dahlia. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. By the time the murder was solved, I didn't care and was distracted by more than one ick factor. I'd hoped it would be better.

The Gridiron Gang is the latest with the "Rock". DH likes him and I think he's entertaining to watch. The man has some white teeth. It was ok.

Invincible was with Mark Wahlberg. Despite taking place during the '70s, it was pretty good. Two football movies - can you tell it was Super Bowl weekend? And this from two not real huge football fans. Anyway, I think I'm really getting burned out on the feel-good sports movies. And according to the previews, there are at least two more coming out. Ugh.

Finally, we saw The Illusionist with Edward Norton. This was by far my favorite of the bunch. A period piece, magic, and a twist at the end? Loved it.

Time to air out the place

2007-02-02T08:34:00.000-05:00

New post: I'm sick of the last one being the first thing everyone reads when the come over here. I don't know about you guys, but I think it's depressing as hell.

I'm doing all right. I'm sleeping a lot more, and frankly that's better than stressing out. Stress is hell on my stomach. Hopefully the things causing the stress will be over in a few weeks and I can more or less get back to normal. And the sleep is probably a good thing, since before I was existing on about 5 hours a night and then crashing on the weekends. You know how it is. First one up, last one to bed and not enough hours in the day.

On to happier thoughts. I just picked up the the JAK novel "White Lies," which I'm dying to get into. Thing is, I'm in the middle of another novel and I hate starting one thing up when I'm in the middle of something else. I get the characters all mixed up and end up with some pretty wacky dreams. Like a historical paranormal cowboy theme.

The novel I'm reading is "For Better or Hearse" by Laura Durham. It's a light amateur sleuth mystery and I'm enjoying it. I just got to the "I know who done it!" part, and wouldn't you know it, I had to go into work. I don't think they'd appreciate my being late even if the mystery was solved on the next page. I'll have to finish it at lunch. Then I'll dig into Jayne's new novel!

And that, folks, is the extent of my plans for the weekend. Have a good one.

Ugh

2007-01-29T08:14:00.000-05:00

To my overwhelming joy and happiness, I've started having anxiety attacks. I know, yay me. They are not the really horrible ones, just worrisome enough to get my attention and let me know that hey, you're not handling the stress in your life very well right now. Yes, I've been to the doctor and yes, we're working to find something that works.

The only reason I'm sharing this is that I may be posting a bit less as I work through this current wrinkle in my life. The meds the doctor has put me on is making me sleepy all the time, and that is so not going to work with work. There will probably be some adjusting and tweaking going on. The last time this happened to me, my writing fell way by the wayside, so that is a concern too. Writing is often very cathartic and I don't want to loose that outlet.

So with any luck, this will be a short-term thing. If I'm loopier than normal, we'll just blame the meds.

And I'd love to hear about any reader recommendations for something light and funny to read.

Ohio, Take Care of My Sister

2007-01-24T15:44:00.000-05:00

Well, we moved my sister #1 to Ohio over the weekend. The weather was decent (especially for January!) and we had help.

Hopefully all the worrying was for nothing. Her apartment is CUTE and she has a view of the pond behind the complex. It's bigger than she thought so DH and I will bring some more of her stuff that she didn't think she had room for in a few weeks. As an extra bonus, both Mom and Dad came up to help and stayed an extra day or two to help her unpack.

She's found the grocery store and the Barnes and Noble, so far, so good!

Next on the agenda ... I wonder if she needs a pet? Maybe a fish or a hamster or something ...

Dammit Doll

2007-01-23T11:36:00.000-05:00

This is a Dammit Doll. It was given to me on my first day at the bank. I should have taken that as a sign, right?

Anyway, you use it by whacking it against your desk to relieve stress.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GRAB THE LEGS AND PULL APART. For some reason this upset the men I worked with.

And no, I don't know why it's the shape it is. It probably makes a good voodoo doll oo.

Another Adventure Begins

2007-01-19T08:18:00.000-05:00

Well, we're shipping my sister off to Ohio tomorrow. Last Thursday she got the call she'd been waiting for about where she would be placed after her manager training with Bob Evans was completed. Unfortunately, it wasn't in Indiana like she'd hoped, but the good news she is still closer to us than some parts of the state. She'll be three hours from me and still about six hours from Mom and Dad. All in all, no too bad. Especially since she passed that critical 48 hour freak-out period. That was fun.

Dad came up yesterday to help. Hopefully we can keep him in a supervisory capacity since he is still nursing a sore knee. DH enlisted the help of the BIL - yes, that BIL - so hopefully the guys can handle most the heavy stuff. All I'm going to say on that is that it sure makes it hard to hold a grudge when someone volunteers to do something nice like this, so maybe he's trying. That, and I really love his wife, DH's sister.

Sister #2 sent a couple of emails out to close family to let them know what's going on and one of our Dad's cousins said he wasn't doing anything and volunteered to help. That's pretty cool too. Add to the mix my mother, who is driving up Saturday, and maybe my DSS, if his mom isn't being a horse's patout.

So with this cast of thousands, hopefully there is room for everyone to actually carry stuff down a flight of stairs and into the moving van. Sister #1 (the one who's moving) said her new place is smaller than her current apartment, so getting stuff moved in is going to be an adventure in itself. At least the new place is downstairs.

Wish us luck!

Lost Treasure, First Snow, Inigo Montoya and Shipping My Sister to Ohio

2007-01-12T08:02:00.000-05:00

On to better things, right?

We moved into our rental house almost a year ago and we are still going through boxes. Most of it's paper because I am the world's worst filer ever. At home that is. Because at work I'm pretty up on it all.

Anyway, DH found some papers of mine that had fallen out of a file. They were short scenes and story ideas. Since I'm currently out of my TBR (to be read) pile, I've been going through them.

Some are really, really bad. Some are "Hmm. Watch CSI much?" Others are "What were you reading when you came up with that?" And there was one "OHMYGOD, don't let DSS see this." Heck, I'd be embarrassed to have DH read that scene, and trust me, he'd probably be interested.

But my favorite finds were those little golden nuggets, those scenes of "so THAT'S where that went," those little sparks that helped me flesh out the characters of my manuscript. While most will never see the light of day, some scenes are like my own personal chapters of a day in the life of my book.

Other stuff: Stressors are high lately, so I was over the moon to see that the Princess Bride was on TV. I watched it again - twice.

We finally got snow - and naturally everyone freaked. You know, "the sky is falling" mentality. Gee, I'm glad we didn't get more than an inch of the white stuff. Of course, I grew up in a lake effect area off Lake Michigan and I think most of the drivers around here are a bunch of weenies. I got my driver's license in the dead of winter. And don't get me started on whoever is in charge of plowing the roads. When I first moved here, I swore everyone was a transplant from the south. If you begin to slide, your car becomes a big comfy toboggan. So remember your sledding skills. Of course, you can't really bail if things start to go south ...

Sister #1 just found out she has one week to relocate to Dayton, Ohio. Since I think she's past the major freak-out over the weekend, I think she'll be OK now. But if anyone is from the area and has any suggestions for someone new to Ohio, things to do, places to see, things to avoid, please drop me a line and I'll pass it along.

And sometimes sucky things happen too

2007-01-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

Wasn't it Shakespear who said, "Let's kill all the lawyers?" At least, that's what I've heard. Maybe it's just one of those famous misquotes.

I hate this stuff. This was on our child support hearing. We hired a lawyer to cover our behinds and still got @#$%. Basically, we were given papers to turn over DH's income from the past three years to determine if an increase in child support payments was warranted. Since this same prosecuting attorney (don't worry, that's a normal part of the process) messed things up last time, we consulted our own attorney. We got a letter back from our attorney, saying this was the other attorney's reply and if there are any questions, please call. The letter was rather vague, so we called to ask if it was his opinion that this was a fair amount. The response we received was a request for more information. We supplied that and then didn't hear anything else.

We never heard that the matter was settled. We had to call our attorney several times before we received a response, and then we were told that the hearing was still on and our attorney was unavailable. And the hearing is this morning.

Gee, thanks for nothing. The entire point was to negotiate and avoid going to court to begin with. We were never opposed to paying more if it was fair (and of course nobody wants to). Now we will be responsible for her court costs as well.

Arghgrrrrrrrrr!

Sorry to be venting again, but I am so frustrated with the whole legal thing. I am so tired right now.

And the kicker? The ex, after crying and complaining about how much difficulty she is having financially, hence the whole child support thing, just drove back from a week's vacation in Florida. You know, a few days at Disney and a few days at Sea World for her and the kids, staying at one of the resorts. Kinda makes you want to be a welfare mom too, doesn't it?

A Good Read & a PS

2007-01-05T08:35:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. Why aren't you writing??!

Because I'm a book addict, that's why. If I hadn't picked up a book from the library, I would have reread something from my stacks at home. And I just reread virtually everything. I finished my Calvin and Hobbs anthology last week. It was a nice jaunt down memory lane too.

I think it was on the CB Bar and Grill blog that someone mentioned an anthology called "Valentine's Day is Killing Me" with MaryJanice Davidson. Yes, "Cuffs and Coffee Breaks" was a hoot and she got our emailing culture down to a T. Cruising the stacks, I found another gem of hers called, "The Royal Treatment." I'm almost half way through and I've lost track of the number of times I've laughed out loud.

Yes, I'm plugging a book I haven't finished yet. I like it that much.

And I love Edmund. He is officially my current favorite supporting character. He's snarky and sarcastic as hell.

Go check it out.

PS: I finished the book. Still like it.

I have a question though. Well, first a comment. I am such a sheep. First reaction, I really liked "The Royal Treatment." Then I read other people's thoughts of some other books. And naturally I started to think. Always a bad sign. I don't like whiners either. I didn't think the heroine was that bad, but she wasn't my favorite character either. Edmund is still one of my all-time favorite secondary characters. Come on, his response the the "off with his head" order still makes me LOLROTFLMAO.

But still it reminded me of how on Will & Grace, my favorite characters were Jack and Karen.

It seems I've always done this. Start with my own opinion, then when I hear other people's thoughts on the same thing, I start to doubt myself. Maybe I latch on to the positive and immediately forget the so-so stuff. I mean, really. Is it worth getting worked up about? And I do have my wall-thumper reads. Trust me.

Maybe I just don't think everything though as thoroughly as I should before I open my mouth. And I'm not bringing this up because others have voiced their opinions. Good grief, I'd be the most unilluminated person on the planet if they didn't. Maybe it's bothering me because it takes me so long to formulate a thought I'm happy with to throw out into the fray. Then someone says something and I see a hole in what I've said, and have to think about it some more. And as a matter of fact, I was horrible at debate. It would take me a week to get through an argument.

You know, I actually had a question when I started this PS. Now I think I'll just end it with this. Teach me. Illuminate me. Turn on that light bulb hovering over my head. Tell me your point of view and why. Go ahead and prove me wrong, but back it up.

And don't forget the chocolate. There are wonderful thought-provoking properties of chocolate that add to the thinking process.

Nice things do still happen

2007-01-04T13:04:00.000-05:00

On my way home last night, I saw that my sister had called. I called her back to see what was up. She told me that she went to see her friend in LaPorte. Now since the friend is a force unto herself and my sister’s stories about her are always entertaining, I asked what happened this time.

Turns out the friend had a chance to be a part of something pretty amazing.

There is a family that my family grew up with from church. I was in Pre-Calc with their oldest son and in band with the middle son. My middle sister was in band with the middle son and my youngest sister had classes with their youngest son.

Awhile back, we heard the news that the youngest son was diagnosed with cancer. I won’t pretend I know even the basic information about what type of cancer it is or what stages mean what. All I know is that it was bad and we were basically told he only had a few months left.

You hear news like that and sometimes it truly rocks your world. We are talking about a young man, recently married and a new father with literally his entire life ahead of him. He is my youngest sister’s age (29). His family grew up with mine. And I kept thinking, “How do you deal with something like this?”

The months have gone by (maybe even a year now) and he’s still with us, some might say miraculously. My sister told me that he set three goals for himself. He wanted to marry, become a father, and get his college degree.

In the past few weeks, his condition took a turn for the worse. I cannot imagine what it must be like to call your family and say that it might be your last Christmas.

This December, he reached his third goal. He achieved his Engineering Degree from Purdue University at the North Central Campus. He pressed on through the chemo, and the radiation treatments and bad days. And he made it happen. There was one problem though. There were too few graduates with that particular degree and the graduation ceremony for them would not be held until Spring Commencement. And with typical grace, he said, if that was what he had to do, that’s what he would do.

Knowing there was a chance he might not be there to walk across that stage come May.

While he and his family took a mini-vacation and had some well-deserved family time, a plan was set into motion. Nothing could be done about the December graduation ceremony at that point, but friends and co-workers contacted the Chancellor at PNC and explained the situation. And the man simply said, “Tell me the date and I will clear my calendar. I’ll be there.”

And so they arranged for a personal graduation ceremony for him at the courthouse where he worked. His wife brought his cap and gown. They had programs printed up, just like at the official ceremony. The mayor gave a speech. The Chancellor gave a speech. The graduation cake had the Purdue insignia on it.

My sister’s friend is a photographer. She found out about the impromptu ceremony from the young man’s mom, dropped everything and photographed the event. Because it was the holidays, his parents and his brothers were all in town and able to attend.

A lot of people did any number of kindnesses to make that graduation happen. It wasn’t national news, but it was his day, and that was all that mattered.

I didn’t name names because I haven’t spoken with the family or the friend about sharing this story. And knowing them, especially in this difficult time, they may want a little privacy. I cannot imagine what day to day life is like for them, knowing everything could change in a moment’s notice. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have everyone know you are going to die. Perhaps it is the simple idea of celebrating life as we live it and not dwelling on missing someone before they are gone.

What I do know is that this remarkable young man has managed to pack his life full of blessings and good people. He probably doesn’t even know me, and yet his story has touched me in ways I cannot describe.

God Bless, to you and yours, and everyone who has passed a kindness on.

The Theme (And the One Sentence Idea)

2007-01-03T10:53:00.000-05:00

I have committed myself (ha ha, no, not that way) to the He Wrote/She Wrote On-line Writing Course. I have a manuscript that I’ve been tossing about for the past few years that I’ve never really finished. I don’t mean it needs a little work. I mean the scaffolding is still up for all to see. And somewhere in the mess I call my Work in Progress, I’ve lost my original ending. Oh, I know what the ending is. In fact, I’m pretty sure my best friend has the original oh-my-bob-what-was-I-thinking version somewhere. I think it was actually typed, as in on a typewriter. For some reason, I don’t seem to have it down in a file or hardcopy anywhere.

Time to make a change. Besides, there are these other ideas clamoring away in my head, wanting to see the light of day too.

The first lesson is about your theme. You gotta have one. Love Conquers All. Men Can Be Idiots. Women Can Be Idiots Too. Work (And/Or Love) Sucks. Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Grocery Store Today. Something that gives a springboard for what the work is about.

Turns out, mine sucked. The big rotten egg too.

My WIP, in its current state, is a hopeless tangle of scenes. Picture a big, unravelled ball of yarn. There is potential there, but in the meanwhile, yikes. I write in scenes because that’s how I see the story. I hear conversation, and see a place. Something happens that keys my interest. That, and there is a demanding little person in my head screaming, “WRITE IT DOWN, DUMMY.” Unfortunately, this method of writing isn’t very conductive to a strong plot.

Witty conversation is great (not that mine is), but without a plot to hold it together, you might as well just have a series of index cards. Each has something to add, but it’s not exactly a good read.

So, here are my attempts at my homework:

The One Sentence Idea

A woman tries to balance her life as a physician with her father’s attempts to marry her off to the neighbor.
Ok, except dear old Dad isn’t really that much of a focal character. Yes, he would like to see his daughter married, but really the main characters are our lady doctor, her best friend, our hero and his twin brother.

A woman tries to reconcile the memories of the boy she once knew with the man now wrecking havoc in her life.
Better. There really isn’t anything quite like someone who’s known you your entire life. Still, not quite what I want.

Resigned to spinsterhood, a young lady physician is drawn into a web of mystery and murder as she is tempted by her childhood companion’s tantalizing offer: marriage, family, and resources to continue her work.
At first, I liked this. Then I realized it sounded like our hero might be trying to off our heroine.

A lady physician must decide if she dares to reach for the brass ring: her own practice and a family of her own.
A bit of feminist Catch-22. Fight for having choices, then be maligned for making one that falls into the traditional category. That, and I really don’t want to add the Suffragettes at this point. I have a tendency to create a cast of thousands as it is.

Bachelor taps Lady Physician to Play Matchmaker – Film at 11.
Ok, I’m getting punchy at this point.

Double Trouble: Twins vie for Lady Doctor’s hand
Methinks I’ve read too many tabloid headlines at the check out line.

Terrible Twins: Lady Doc finds herself engaged to one and in danger of strangling the other.
Close to what is actually going on, but not exactly an OSI. And too headline-y too.

These next two are my top picks. I’m leaning towards the last one:

Having spectacularly ended his engagement to another several years before, a woman finds herself playing matchmaker for society’s most sought-after bachelor – and yearning to fill the position herself.

An exiled lady physician returns to her home town only to find herself knee-deep in mystery and wedding proposals, neither of which are appreciated by her impromptu fiancé.

The main plot is about the developing romance between our lady physician and her hero. The subplot is the mystery that seemingly follows and intensifies as the romance progresses.

Now as for the theme, I am thinking along the lines of No Guts, No Glory or True Love Is Not For The Faint-Of-Heart. Hmm. Still needs work.

And with that, I will call it a wrap.

For now. You know how Works In Progress are …

Gee, this is starting well ...

2007-01-02T08:12:00.000-05:00

Lord, grant me the strength to change what I can, cope with what I cannot, and the wisdom not to strangle DH in the meanwhile ...

First, let me say I was clearly medicated, and therefore not in my right mind.

Yeah, right. And the Twinkie defense is believable too. Of course, perhaps if I had eaten a Twinkie, maybe I could have avoiding the entire episode. You know, the miraculous healing powers of Twinkies. Yes, Virginia. In the absence of chocolate, a Twinkie will do.

First, let us get this out of the way: I am a horrible, self-centered person. How I ended up with DH, a true near-GAM, I do not know.

And just how does DH not reach the pinnacle of all that is good, full GAM status? He doesn't read minds. Which, of course, is central to our story, which I really am getting to.

*sigh*

For New Year's Eve, DH and I were invited to his aunt's house in Illinois. This aunt is his father's sister, and DH has been estranged from his father's side of the family for about fifteen years, since his parents' divorce. Let's just say there is some serious Jerry Springer stuff that I won't go into here. The aunt who invited us, also estranged from DH's father, is making some serious efforts to extend the olive branch and try to mend rifts between the innocents in the whole picture. DH turned down her invites in the past. He accepted this one.

All noble efforts aside, spending New Year's Eve in a house full of people I don't know, two hours away from home, wasn't something I was really looking forward to. But since this was a major deal for him, I said OK.

OK, this is where I was a bad person. I secretly hoped for bad weather. Naturally, we had some of the warmest weather on record. Heck, there was even a distant thunderstorm that temporarily knocked out the lights (small towns - you sneeze and the lights will go out). All in all, not bad weather-wise.

And because I am a bad person, God decided I was going to have a migraine. I hadn't had a migraine in almost two months. I even took my medicine before it went full-tilt. No dice. So we are heading out to Illinois, my migraine is swelling up, and suddenly, I felt horribly car-sick. I can't even remember the last time that happened. There I am, spacey from the meds which haven't killed the pain yet, migraine trying to decide if it is going to split my head in two, and car-sick from the war between the two, mentally chanting to myself, "c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, kick in already, I will not be sick, I will not be sick ..."

DH said to me, "Um, are you ok?"

Me: "Fine. Why?"

Apparently my eyes were the size of dinner plates and my input into our conversation was a little out there.

DH pulls over. "You don't feel good, do you?"

"It's a migraine. I'll be fine once the medicine kicks in."

DH turns around and heads back home. "Well, I don't want to force you to go if you don't want to."

Well, great. Now he's all fissy and blaming me for not feeling well (warning: major hot button between us). "I said I'll be fine."

DH turns around again. "Fine."

Me: "Fine."

DH turns around once more, heading back home. "I hate it when you do this."

Me: "Did I ask you to turn around? No. I didn't want to ruin this because this was your deal. I took my medicine. I should be fine. (A pause.) Maybe it would help if we got something to drink."

DH turns around again, once more towards Illinois. "OK."

DSS suddenly chimes in from the backseat, turning off his MP3 player. "Whoa, dude. We like passed that house three times. Are we lost?"

"Nope. Just taking the scenic route." And tin-sounding music began to blare from tiny ear pieces again.

The rest of the trip was better. We had to stop again because I needed to go to the bathroom. I swear, if I ever find myself pregnant and have to pee any more than I already do, I'm just going to have to go straight to Depends. On the way out, I grabbed Zingers, donuts and Fritos (the chili Fritos were for DSS, the rest was for me. OK, yes I shared with DH). Ah, junk food bliss.

Finally, we arrived. His aunt and cousin were very nice, very laid back and lived in a gorgeous old Victorian home with these beautiful ornate radiators and a fabulous wrap-around front porch. Oh, yeah. And they smoked. Cigarettes. My A-1, Numero Uno, Grade A trigger for migraines.

For the most part, I managed to avoid the smoky areas, but you know how smoke is. It's in the wallpaper, in the furniture, it's everywhere. Still, I managed. My SIL and her brood was there, plus a few other family kids. Nothing quite like a mob of deranged wild children stomping through the house, hooting and hollering. Still, I was OK.

Then they started setting off the fireworks outside. And my eye began to twitch. My head began to throb. And then the kids, the smoke, the bright lights, the blaring TV and all the noise made me suddenly really wish I was home. I don't do misery well. No matter how much I try to push through, I usually end up crying like an over-tired five-year old. And I was getting perilously close to that point.

Let me just say I really love his aunt's house. It's soundproof. They sent the kids somewhere else to play (the dungeon? the cellar? Timbuktu?) and my MIL turned off the overhead light (bless that woman). DH curled up on the couch with me while the latest batch of Advil/Tylenol worked its magic. I wasn't going to jump up and dance the Watusi anytime soon, but it was better. The aunt has a most excellent couch too.

I dozed off and on a bit and then woke up at midnight just in time for all the kids to pop their little confetti cork popper thingies. Oh yeah, midnight their time. Illinois is on Central time. Our little home in Indiana is on Eastern. Argh. I really must be an ungrateful wretch because even after all the niceness, I still thought to myself, "WTH??! We are still here?"

I know. Nice. We got home at 3:30 AM. Thankfully, I was in a near-coma by then, thinking I'm getting too old for this crap. And we didn't even drink. At the very least I was saved from another occurrence of my Foot-In-Mouth disease.

How DH manages to put up with me, I don't know. Of course, I'm still not entirely certain why we stayed for eight hours when I was obviously was un-well ...

Argh

2006-12-28T08:47:00.000-05:00

This has nothing to do with Jennifer Crusie's blog by the same name. However, she has one of the best blogs out there and if you like snark and want a taste of what an author's life is really like, please go check it out. I've got a link on the sideboard over there.

No, today "Argh" simply has to do with my chronic foot-in-mouth disease.

Last night was the first night in about six weeks that I had free. No shopping, no running to do, no working. Just me, DH, my sweats, the comfy couch and TV. I even took a nap. DH was on the phone when there was a knock at the door. I untangled myself from the blanket, wrangled the dog away from the front door and found two vaguely familiar faces on the porch. They gave us a present and wished us a belated Merry Christmas. I thought, how nice. One of the neighbors brought us something. I thanked them and asked which house they lived in. You know, so we could wave and say hi and such. There was a long awkward pause.

They were our landlords.

Yes, I pretty much wanted to find a nice, deep hole. DH still hasn't stopped laughing, so I will continue to blame him for my embarrassment. I mean, he could have said, "Hey, look. It's the landlords" or something. Wasn't he supposed to have x-ray vision to see through the door or some psychic ability that says, "Your stupid wife is about to make an ass of herself?" *Sigh*

You know, it's things like this that makes me want a superpower to make up for my shortcomings. The Power of Invisibility would have come in handy last night. That, or be Photographic Memory Woman.

I'm going to be kicking myself over this for a long time.

So today's question is this: If you could pick, what would your superpower be?

Shock and Awe

2006-12-26T08:40:00.002-05:00

First, I very sincerely hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.

Ours went fairly well. My folks came up from Tennessee and went overboard, as usual. Sis #2 recuperated enough to join us Christmas Day after being hit with that nasty stomach bug going around. I really do think it was a pretty good Christmas.

One thing did stand out as odd. DH's ex did something nice.

I know. *gasp!* OMB! Who are you and what have you done with the ex! (Not that we necessarily want the old one back, but ...)

We got a call from DSS on Saturday asking if he could drop off something for us. After arriving within a reasonable length of time (again, *gasp!*), DSS gave us two gift bags of goodies, one for us and one for my parents. DSS had to run off again, so we were left staring at each other stupidly. DH's expression said it all: WTF?

He actually turned to me and asked, "So, do you think it's safe to eat?"

Sure enough, when we opened it, there were some pre-wrapped goodies, including the oreos dipped in vanilla almond bark that I so love. There were some homebaked cookies too. The gingerbread men were intact, not with their heads ripped off, or knives in their backs. No vile messages written in icing. No Ex-lax laced chocolate chip cookies.

It was actually a very nice thing.

And to top it all off, the bags said, "Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All."

Of course, you have to remember that DSS has half of DH's DNA and DH is nearly a saint as far as I am concerned. Just last week DSS went up to another kid at school to check to see if he was OK because he seemed upset. Of course, he got kicked in the nuts for his consideration, but still it was a nice thing to do. He thinks the world of my parents and I have no trouble believing that he was behind the entire production. It's the part where his mom actually drove across town to deliver them that I have a hard time believing.

(For those of you new to the saga, we are in the beginning stages of what will no doubt be a very ugly custody battle for DSS.)

So, like, wow. And Hmm. Sorry, but once bitten, twice shy. It's really too bad that our experiences in the past have given us reason to doubt her motives. But, for now anyway, I will chalk it up to the idea that DSS wanted to do something nice.

And as for a certain other person on my poop list, yes I took the high road and was civil. That does not mean I've forgiven and forgotten. Sorry, but when some idiot spreads rumors at work out of spite about one of the most sacred things in your life, you just don't roll over on it. At least I don't. On this, I won't. Some things are worth defending.

Mellencamp has a line in one of his songs that I think goes something like this:
You gotta stand for somethin'
Or you'll fall for anything.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2006-12-22T08:34:00.000-05:00

I wasn't sure I'd have time to post again before Christmas, but it turns out I have a few minutes here to wish everyone a Merry Christmas again. And Happy Holidays.

I'm a little loopy due to lack of sleep. I can't remember the last day I had a complete day off -- and I've only been doing this two jobs thing for three weeks. Thank Bob I'm done after next week. Happy New Year to me!

Anyway, back to the loopiness: if I'm more scatterbrained than usual or run off on a bunch of tangents, that's why. No, I am not having an episode. Although if the episode would get me a few extra hours of sleep, I just might consider it.

Here is my Top Ten list of Favorite things about Christmas:

10. Christmas Carols. Or at least the first twenty times I hear them.
9. Candles. Yes, working at the Candle store has warped me. But I smell like Cinnamon and vanilla cookies when I come home.
8. Outdoor lights. My husband is gradually adding more to our collection. There are few things I enjoy more than driving around at night and seeing all the trees done up in white lights.
7. Christmas Cheer. No, no, not the booze. The good stuff. The good moods that really do pop up from time to time.
6. Pets. I have no idea why, but I am compelled to try and get a picture of the dog in front of the Christmas tree every year. He doesn't get it, doesn't like it, and doesn't want anything to do with it. It probably dates back to the year I stuck the poor dog in a Santa suit. Talk about one grumpy elf.
5. Christmas Cookies. Sugar cookies with frosting? Gingerbread men? Yum yum yum.
4. Friends and family. You know. The ones you actually want to spend time with.
3. Christmas specials on TV. I haven't seen Rudolph or Frosty or Charlie Brown yet this season. I need to get cracking!
2. Children's choir at church. I know, I know. I need to go to church more. But my favorite memory of my old church in La Porte was the mass with the children's choir. Especially when they've just learned to sing staccato. "And heav-en and na-ture's sing!"

And the number one Most Favorite Thing about Christmas...
1. Christmas Morning. It doesn't matter if you're five or eighty five. There is an extra something special about waking up and opening presents in your bathrobe with your loved ones. Providing Dad isn't taking pictures.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

2006-12-21T08:31:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right. I said Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

First, Merry Christmas. Because that's who I am, who I was raised to be. And a significant part of that is the line, "good will to all people." You know, the part a lot of people are forgetting lately. If you celebrate Hanukah or Kwanzaa or Festivus or the Winter Solstice or any other religious or cultural holiday at this time of year, I wish you the best one ever. And a Happy New Year to all too.

Instead of emphasizing our differences, I like to be reminded of sameness. I like to think that basically people are good with good intentions. Despite what you may see at the mall.

There are a lot of people hurting out there. I personally know that sometimes the littlest kindness can mean the world to someone when they are low. Sometimes a little spark of hope is all you need.

Last night at the candle store, I saw two ladies pay it forward. It was a simple, small act of kindness, giving away a $10 off coupon that they didn't use, momentarily bewildering the man receiving it. Maybe I imagined it, but when he left the store, he had a bigger smile on his face and a little more bounce in his step. Sure, maybe he just happened to finish his Christmas shopping too, but I will continue to think that the gesture made an impact. To me, ten bucks is still ten bucks. I've never won that much from the lottery, so to me that would be a big deal.

Anyway folks, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Pay it forward if you can and I hope you all find inner peace.

Space: The Final Frontier (white space on a page, that is)

2006-12-19T09:19:00.000-05:00

My journey into writerdom began as an exercise to block out the day's craziness in order to fall asleep. I hated my job then and the stress was eating me alive. That's how my little world of Fairlane was born.

I kinda liked the people there, and they had some interesting things going on and I decided to write it down.

My first writing project was set in historical New England. Why New England? I've only been there twice, both when I was considerably younger. To be honest, I just cannot see a whole lot of interest for stories set in rural Indiana. For the time period I'm working with, Indiana was predominately agricultural unless you were on the main waterways. My hometown is LaPorte, which means "the door." As in, someplace you pass through on your way to someplace else. I now live in Lafayette and am gradually learning about the importance of the waterways to the area. Shipping and commerce are more in the lines of what I need from my hero. He needs to be wealthy, but not just living off the family fortune. My hero needs to be able to create an empire of power, money and information that will make him a force to be reckoned with -- until our heroine shows up and twists him up in knots.

I also needed a place near the cities of importance to my characters' world. He is in business. He needs to be near big cities, shipping centers, major hubs of industry. She is a physician, a rarity for the late 1800s. The first women's college for physicians was in Pennsylvania in the 1890s. Women physicians primarily treated women and children in the beginning and those hospitals were the first to hire them. Travel by train was common, so to have our heroine working in hospitals in New York, and Boston would fit. Their worlds would overlap in a realistic fashion for the time.

The characters have evolved considerably since my first attempts to put them on a page. My hero was too perfect, too best-friend-like. He had nowhere to grow. My heroine was worse. She was a crying, fainting, weak thing. I had set aside my first draft for a few years and when I reread it, I couldn't stand her. Sure, she had room to grow, but who cared? She wasn't worthy of Mr. Perfect and the two of them together were to most boring lovestory ever told.

So I went back to the "masters." I reread and studied who I liked to read: Amanda Quick, Johanna Lindsay, and Julia Quinn with little detours to Jennifer Crusie, Janet Evanovich, Laurell K. Hamilton and Katie MacAllister.

I am older now and so is my heroine. I didn't really know myself until I hit my thirties, so I made her mature for her age and a bit older than the usual marriagable age. I wanted her to be close in age to the hero so that they grew up together, forging a bond at an early age that carried over into adulthood. What could possibly be more unnerving for the town's most eligible bachelor than someone who knows his every secret?

I'm going to break this process into a couple of posts, but I'll leave you with my worst sin from my first draft: I assumed that since my grandmother talked about making chocolate chip cookies as a child, that the cookies were around forever. What difference could 30 years possibly make? A lot apparently. Chocolate chips were not available to the public until the 20th century, so do not put them in your historical novel taking place in 1890. Do the research. We have the internet now, so some of these things are easier to find than ever.

The Best Christmas Pagent Ever

2006-12-18T12:54:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite Christmas specials ever. Just had to throw that out there. It's the one with Loretta Switt and the welfare kids who bring a ham for baby Jesus. I love the angel at the pagent.

I was on the Running With Quills blog a few weeks ago and the question was posed, "What are your holiday traditions?"

Since I seem to gravitate toward the humorous, I immediately joined in with the dumbest tradition I have ever started. Now that my step-son is fully aware that I am nuts, he just sits back and waits to see what I'll do next. Therefore, I have to keep doing the afore mentioned stupid thing until he is married and starts his own traditions he will live to regret.

Don't worry. My husband is fully aware of the nuttiness as well. I believe his motto is currently, "Way to go, Vern."

I got stockings for our pets.

I don't just mean for the dog. The dog is every bit as much family as the people are, although I know there are some of you out there who are shaking your heads already. Oh no, I got stockings for the guinea pig, the goldfish, and our the tropical fish. We had one for the hamster, but sadly he passed on to the big hamster ball in the sky.

At first, it was cute. Little snack sticks for the rodents and fish flakes for the fish. Ok, the guinea pig I can deal with. There are all kinds of snacks for Tiger like a salt wheel, snack sticks, flavored wood thingies, yogurt ma-bobs, etc. But the fish? Oh look. More fish flakes. Great.

Maybe I just need to buy more fish. Look! Santa brought you new friends!

I tried to "forget" the pet stockings last year. DSS busted me. How do you tell a kid his pets are undeserving of presents from Santa? Even if there is a good possibility he no longer believes in Santa, I think he gets a kick out of the fact that everyone in my family still gets presents from the big guy. Heck, we all get presents from the dogs. Oh, I wasn't supposed to buy you anything else? But I didn't. The dog got that for you. *wink wink*

Do you have any goofy traditions in your family for the holidays?

Danger! Danger, Will Robinson ...

2006-12-15T09:02:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Christmas is essentially one week away. I haven't even opened my boxes of Christmas Cards yet, let alone addressed them. I just may have to take a guy at work's advice and just drop a bunch of addresses into my computer and print them out on labels. Horribly impersonal, I know, but it's crunch time, people.

What's worse is that DH and I moved back in February, so most of our family and friends have our old address. As an extra added bonus, I think the post office only forwards your mail for 6 months. We've gotten only five cards ourselves this year: our moms, my two sisters, and one aunt of mine who thought to call my mom for our address. And we had a family portrait done this year too. That I still haven't printed the copies off to stuff in the cards.

Maybe it will end up being a "Holiday" card instead.

And at job #2, for some reason, I volunteered to pick up a shift. That will put me at 22 hours, plus the 40 at my day job. Yes, that was a brilliant idea, considering how far behind I am with everything.

DH, Bob love him, is offering/having to do everything else I can't get to. He and DSS are actually braving the mall tonight to go Christmas shopping. Nice, because they will stop by and say hello. That will help get me through. I'm half afraid to ask him to finish up my shopping because he's been so great about me not being home at night and doing the house stuff. Thank Bob for gift cards.

Last night I threw out the idea of DH and DSS making cookies this weekend while I'm at work. I'm doing a little "yikes" because this is uncharted territory. DSS and I usually do the cookies together, but I think I've trained him well. That and he told me this week that he made what we call "eye balls" by himself for his brothers. "Eye balls" are small pretzels, white almond bark and M&Ms. With regular M&Ms, they look like eyeballs. With Christmas ones, they are just festive.

Now DH is a big boy and surely he's baked cookies himself at some point. Just not since I've known him. In the past seven years. He's more of the "I can work on your car, split wood and fix what's broken" kind of person. There is definitely something to be said for someone who is handy. Trust me, my sisters are quickly learning that, especially when they can save $300 on a brake job for the car. But cookies? I have the feeling he just might panic and get everything set up so it's ready when I come home.

And it is just cookies. Having someone prep them wouldn't be too bad at all.

Have I mentioned I adore the two guys in my life?

(The photo was forwarded to me, but I believe it originated from CNN's Offbeat page under Images. I think it's an AP photo from a mall in Japan. If I can locate the credits I will post them shortly. No, I have not been to Japan this Christmas season.)

On Golden Pond

2006-12-14T08:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, ok, I'm not that old, but sheesh, I sure feel it today.

Week two of having job #2 (no, not that #2) is finally catching up with me. My legs and feet hurt, I'm way out of shape, and I'm pooped. I just about ripped DH's head off for robbing me of that last five minutes of sleep this morning. Oh, so do not go there. Not that. He simply thought that if he had to get up, I needed to share in his misery. At which point he soon found that the solitude of getting the bathroom first would be a good thing. I swear, I think I managed a full head rotation this morning.

I found out, much to my chagrin, that I am the oldest person working at the store. By seven years. 7. Freakin'. Years.

Dear Bob. I'm only 36 now. And a rookie.

Most of my other jobs I've been the youngest, or at least second to the youngest. *Sigh* I guess I certainly won't impress anyone with my college stories, even as goodie-two-shoes as they are.

Oh, and by the way, I need another week before Christmas. Could someone please pencil that in for me? It would be much appreciated.

I did find a small ray of sunshine yesterday. Our lawyer contacted the ex's lawyer on Monday to give him the info requested. The ex should get the "good news" sometime this week. Waa Haa Haa. Ain't payback a pip?

'Scuse me while I kiss this guy...

2006-12-13T08:06:00.000-05:00

That was the name of this daily calendar I had a few years ago. It was 365 misquoted song lyrics. That one was a misquote for Jimi Hendrix's "Scuse me While I Kiss the Sky." Some were absolutely hysterical. Others, well, it made you wonder what the person was smokin' to think the words were even close to that.

I come from a family that makes it a tradition to make up the words as we go along. Here are some classics:

"Give me the Beach Boys to soothe my soul..." (Drift Away. I can't remember the original artist, but it was remade by Uncle Kracker a few years ago.)

"Islands in the Street, that is what we are ..." (Islands in the Stream, by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers)

"There's a bathroom on the right..." (Bad Moon Rising, by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

"Bobby used to work like a doc..." (Living on a Prayer, by Bon Jovi)

Obviously, I am not alone in my cluelessness. There is a commercial on TV right now for one of those cell phones with an MP3 player on it where two guys debate if the lyrics are "Lock the cashbox" or "Stop the catbox" for "Rock the Kazbah" (sp?).

Personally, I love misquotes. I know someone who constantly invents new movie titles, TV shows and song lyrics. Half the fun is trying to figure out what she's talking about. You know, that movie with Tom Cruise: A Few Good Marines.

I think I have a new supporting character for a contemporary novel: Misquote Woman. Bob only knows I have enough material for her.

Do you have any favorite misquotes?

Damn it, Jim ...

2006-12-12T09:09:00.000-05:00

(from Star Trek)

I don't know why, but that line always cracks me up. "Damn it, Jim. I'm a doctor, not an interior decorator!" (And yes, I just made that up. It wasn't in Star Trek.)

It's one of those lines that keeps popping up in conversations with my sisters. These are the same sisters who, at any given moment, will launch into a "Star Wars: Episodes IV - VI Quotefest". (deep breathing), "We're doomed!", "Governor Tarkin, I thought I recognized your foul stench.", "But Uncle Owen ...," "Beep bo Bap Bloop!", "Aauuuuuug!" (wookie-speak), "Sorry for the mess," "A little short for a Stormtrooper, aren't you?", "I care," and so on.

Dad is a huge Star Trek fan. Not Trekkie convention huge, but he holds an honest appreciation for the series. And I watched enough of it growing up that not only do I know what at Tribble is, but think the movie "Galaxy Quest" is possibly the funniest spoof movie ever.

I actually considered getting a scottish terrier just so I could name him Mr Scot and go around saying, "Aye, Cap'n!"

(And yes, I am well-aware of the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek. They just both happened to be a large part of my growing up.)

Several years ago there was this TV show called, "Two Guys, a Girl and Pizza Place," or something like that. The first season had one of my favorite TV characters of all time, played by David Ogden Stiers (Winchester from MASH). His character would channel some other famous character from a movie throughout the show. One time it was a football player, the Gipper or something. Another time he was Obi Wan from Star Wars. Cracked me up. I was devestated when he didn't return to the series.

So, do you have any quotes from movies or TV that show up from time to time in your life? Or am I the only nutcase that is so lucky? What is your favorite movie quote or favorite memory attached to a movie/TV show?

Welcome to CandleWorld

2006-12-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

I think I like it.

Friday night I began my second job -- retail, at the mall, at Christmastime. So far, so good. The people are nice, there are only about a dozen prices to remember, and it smells good. Saturday was harder only because it was eight hours on my feet and it's been at least ten years since I've stood that long on a regular basis. Yes, I crashed yesterday, but oh well. I'm pretty sure that's a sign I need to be more active. Ten years at various desk jobs hasn't done me any favors.

The only reservation I really have about the Candle World job is about getting paid in a timely basis. I know I just started, so there will be some delay in getting the first check. The first day I started, a person was annoyed because their check was late. And it was brought up that someone else's check was three weeks late. What's the point of working Christmas if you don't get paid until after Christmas? I suppose we shall see on Thursday, unless of course it's later than that. Sounds fun (insert sarcasm here). Normally I'd say that surely it couldn't be that bad, but then I know better. Yes, Virginia, it could.

The cold is progressing slowly. I'm praying I'm not getting an ear infection and the extra vitamin C and Zinc may actually be helping. See? This is what I get for not eating my veggies. I hate veggies, but I hate being sick even more.

So, here's a lesson for you all. Eat your fruits and veggies. Or at the very least, take your vitamins.

Nothing but good times ahead

2006-12-08T08:14:00.000-05:00

The last post will probably have to be removed at some point, so let me just say this: the meeting with the new lawyer went well. He listened, answered our questions, and gave us some unexpectedly good news. I think we'll keep him. And if the ex hated the last one we had, she's going to absolutely loathe this guy. The money issue is still a concern, but after talking with him, it sounds like he's going to be worth every penny. In this case, he's going to what needs to be done to someone with no respect for the rules.

In other news, apparently the ex might be getting married - again. This would be future Ex #3. Thank Bob she got herself fixed. I would have thought we would have been more down about the news. Usually adding a spouse causes a never ending stream of headaches on our end, but at least it's only one guy and not a never-ending stream of new boyfriends. Our step-son will have the adjusting to do. For some reason DH and I are caught between saying, "poor dumb bastard" and "let him burn." The reason for the last sentiment is that rumor has it the boyfriend is behind the ex's sudden interest in getting more child support and thinks she should get at least as much as he pays out for his kid in another state. Um, duh, but every state is different. What the you expect from a guy with horrible taste in shoes? I mean, I'm no fashion icon by a long shot, but even I went, "Man, those are some ugly shoes." Anyway, the boyfriend is starting to sound like a meddler. Should be interesting.

I'm slowly feeling better every day. My appetite is still off, but at least I'm on solid food again. My sinuses feel like someone filled them with lead, but that's a whole lot better than I've been feeling for the past month. Unless I move my head too fast. Then it's like, "Oooh, look at all the pretty colors. *Klunk*." I'm glad I'm doing as well as I am because I start the new part-time job tonight. We'll have to see how that goes.

For the love of Pete ...

2006-12-06T08:09:00.000-05:00

Obviously, I've become a virus magnet.

Yep, I'm sick again. This is a real doozie this time.

Without TMI (I hope), let's just say that DH and I thought we were hit with a nasty bit of food poisoning Sunday night/Monday morning. It came completely out of left field. Never before have I ever wished harder that we had more than one bathroom. Luckily, we were good little soldiers and went in shifts and that's all I'll say on that.

We both went to the doctor on Monday and it turns out it is the very nasty little virus going around, accompanied by its little friend Temp of 102. Big fun. Have I mentioned it's not a good idea for both me and DH to be sick at the same time? It's hard to whine when the person next to you is whining just as loudly. Yes, we are both lousy sick people. The good news is that we are both on the mend and didn't aggrivate each other. Meds that make you sleep are good for that.

I can honestly say I cannot wait for 2006 to be over. 2007 has to be much, much better health-wise.

And why is it that whenever you are sick, there is NOTHING good to watch on TV? DH loves to watch Matlock whenever he is home sick. Matlock is ok, but after four hours of it, I'm ready to stick a fork in my eye. Thank Bob for multiple TVs in the house.

So ... what did I miss?

Happy Computer Security Day

2006-12-01T13:02:00.000-05:00

Swear to Bob, this was on the Homepage on the intranet at work:

- TODAY IS COMPUTER SECURITY DAY, A TIME TO REMEMBER TO PROTECT YOUR COMPUTERS,
PROGRAMS, AND DATE AT HOME AND AT WORK.

Um, date at home and at work? And how exactly is this going to protect my computer? I don't even know how you would begin to date at home, unless you took it to mean your hometown, which might not be bad. Unless you're from Romney, pop 37. But at work? Didn't I just attend a sexual harassment seminar recently?

(For those who cannot tell, INSERT SARCASM HERE. THIS IS AN ATTEMPT TO APPEAR FUNNY.)

I REALLY, REALLY want a job as the person to who puts stuff on the site. I have all sorts of useless information to share, not to mention the whole quality control thing. I'm every bit as good as whoever they have now :)

Woo-hoo! I got the second job I applied for. Now in addition to my day job of 40 hours a week, I now get to spend a few hours at the mall ... during Christmas ... should I be excited about this?

Actually, yes. Sad to say, but money is a necessary evil and we've been really short lately, so here's my input. I'll be at a small little store that I'll call Candle World. The biggest bonus will be that I will smell nice when I come home. No greasy french fries or sea food smell! That and the working wage has gone up considerably since I last worked retail. I don't start until next weekend, which kinda threw me. It sounds like I'll miss half the shopping season. We'll have to see how it goes.

Good luck, shoppers!

So far, so good

2006-11-30T13:17:00.000-05:00

I had an interview last night for the second job/part-time thing. Not a real biggie, just retail at the mall during Christmas, maybe longer. The interview went well, and with any luck, I scored well on the "personality" quiz. You know, the ones where it asks you to answer true or false as to whether or not you think it is OK to steal from your employer. I tend to over analyze, but I'm sure they don't want a psychological analysis over these answers. "Everybody steals." Well, I sure hope not since I don't really relish calling security every two minutes. But have most people walked off with someone else's pen at some point of their lives? I think so. That is technically stealing, though hardly worth spending twenty to life over.

See what I mean?

I think the store just wants to know whether or not I can be trusted with the cash drawer and not steal all our customer's credit card numbers.

Actually, my only fear is that The Ex will stop in to try and make things awkward. Nope, scratch that. Try living hell. I could really see her doing this. Oh, security ...?

Ode to Trent

2006-11-29T08:38:00.000-05:00

Trent is my miniature schnauzer. He is a fifteen pound terror, but look how cute he is! I know, my momness is showing. Trent was given to us by my dear friend Cindy as a wedding present. She raises schnauzers and I have known her since the second grade. Despite that, she has remained my dear friend.

In case you are wondering "Why Trent?", the answer is this: pure laziness. Cindy's daughter named him and when we brought him home, no one could agree on a new name. Naming a pet is biggie for me. I had charts and everything. I think it boiled down to the fact that whenever we said, "Trent," he looked mildly interested, so the name stuck.

People who don't know the dog's back story think I have a thing for my insurance agent, as Trent is his name too. No, I do not have the hots for my insurance agent. My father works for an insurance company and I worked for one for seven years too. I certainly don't need it in my personal life too. I adore my DH, but if he worked in insurance, I might have had to reconsider the whole thing.

By the way, the big red dog looks a lot like my mom's golden retriever Molly. Trent is the little brother she never wanted. Talk about sibling rivalry. Naturally, if one is getting petted, the other has to be petted too. Bob forbid the wrong mom pet the wrong dog. I swear, if dogs could talk these two would sound a lot like, "Mom! He/She's touching me! He/she got more than I did! Mom likes me better!"

Molly stayed with us over Thanksgiving while my folks were in town. My sister has a bigger bed, so she got my parents. We have a fenced in yard, hence the dog sitting. Schnauzers don't shed, so it takes a bit of adjustment when you have a one hundred pound redhead exploding fur everywhere in the house for several days. Still, it was a good visit for all, even if my socks are still getting extra fuzzy.

Hopefully Trent will be good for DH as it looks like I may be starting a second job soon. I have an interview tonight so wish me luck!

Oops

2006-11-28T09:50:00.000-05:00

Um, a word of caution. Don't change the language setting on your blog without memorizing where the "Change Language" link is.

And no, the Blog Fairy will not magically transcribe your words into French, German or Chinese.

Just trust me on this.

Ok. It's safe to come out now.

2006-11-27T14:29:00.000-05:00

Whew. Done venting. On to happier things.

Back on the He Wrote/She Wrote blog (see links), a few of the CherryBombs are posting descriptions of each other.

Considering the frightening quality of my crickets over in this neck of the woods, I believe I will be safe in posting my own description of myself, especially since I'm still fairly new over there. Nobody's met me in person (that I know of) and just a few brave souls have ventured over here.

I'm just anonymous enough to be dangerous. Tee-hee.

So here we go:

Name: btuda

Alias: bren tuda, foiler of the evil ex

Age: always a year younger than my husband

Height: increasingly shorter than my two younger sisters

Sign: National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support (see www.whatonearthcatalog.com).

Likes: Chocolate

Dislikes: On going diarrheal stupidity

Favorite Authors: Jennifer Crusie, Bob Mayer, Jayne Ann Krentz, Murphy (of Murphy's Law)

Something no one knows about me: Since you are what you eat, I've grown three belly buttons, have a slight spongy quality and am filled with creme filling.

Favorite Curse Word: @#$%!, usually followed by &*$%@ #$%^(* @#%$&* @#&^*&%$!!!

The Ex Strikes Again - Dumb De Dumb Dumb

2006-11-27T12:28:00.000-05:00

Gotta love it. DH's ex had her attorney send us a letter requesting financial info to re-evaluate child support. Under normal circumstances, the length of time since the last evaluation is long enough to consider this a reasonable request.

However, in the past 12 months, the child in question has been held back in school due to a lack of support at home, and has been diagnosed with what is basically pre-adolescent depression. Also, Child Protective Services have investigated her (not due to us) for neglect several times (nothing has stuck yet - neglect is extremely hard to prove) and a local agency has a case worker working with him in school and with the counselors. Added on top of this the number of times she's called and said, "He needs this," and we've taken care of it, it's frustrating, to say the least.

This fall, we single-handedly (well, DH and I) have taken care of soccer and football seasons with absolutely no help from her, financially, rides or otherwise. That's practices and games 6 days a week, plus equipment purchases and fees. And she only showed up to one game this last session. For her own child. Way to be there for him, mom.

And do you know why I think she's doing this now? She broke up with her latest sugar-daddy and Christmas is right around the corner. There is always a new boyfriend around Christmas who usually gets dumped shortly after. It never ceases to amaze me how easily she finds guy after guy after guy after guy willing to hand over money and his charge cards to her. I tell you, she is the best dressed welfare mom I've seen in a while. She's always going on trips too. We had our step-son over for Thanksgiving this year, which means the youngest brother was at his dad's too. Did she have a special family dinner for her and the older son (sadly, his dad is not in the picture)? Nope. She packed him off to a friend's house and went to Arkansas to make up with the last boyfriend.

So DH and I are busy trying to find a new attorney, to at least make sure we don't lose our shirts on this child support deal.

Sigh.

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T10:01:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I know things are rough, but we all have something to be thankful for.

Thanksgiving is at my house this year. My folks and their dog are coming up from Tennessee. My two sisters live close by. I even managed to convince my mother-in-law to join us (I adore my mother-in-law, so no snarky comments out there about in-laws. Anyone who could make my life miserable and chooses not to gets some gratitude from me. Besides, she did a great job with my DH.).

It’s supposed to be warm, so I suppose if we really run out of room we could break out the lawn chairs and sit outside and watch the dogs frolic. Molly is a hundred pound golden retriever with an attitude problem. Mom and Dad got her just after I started seeing my DH. My dog Trent is a fifteen pound miniature schnauzer who’s the little brother Molly never wanted. For the most part they tolerate each other and sometimes even play. Still, there are times I swear Molly has this expression that says, “What’s with the circus freak? All this running and jumping around? WTH?”

On to current events. Apparently I missed the whole Rosie O’Donnell/Kelly Ripa/Clay Aiken thing. Sometimes I really hate the media. Talk about mountains out of mole hills. Now we have three people all running around doing damage control. Well, except for Rosie. She’s just Rosie. Always will be. I love her, but sometimes I want to tell her to chill out a minute. Breathe. Ohm.

For those of you who don’t know, Clay was on Regis and Kelly. At one point of the show, Clay reached over and put his hand over Kelly’s mouth. Kelly made a face and the media was all over it. Now Rosie jumps in, and tells everyone on The View that she saw it as a homophobic reaction.

Geez, Louise, people.

First, admit it. We’ve all wanted to make Kelly shut up at one point or another. However, thinking it and doing it are two completely different things. I mean, think about it. Some guy you’ve never worked with before, reaches over and puts his hand over your mouth. As Kelly later said, it’s cold and flu season. She has kids. These are legit concerns. Personally I saw it as an invasion of personal space, but hey, that’s my thing. For Bob’s sake, if I don’t know you, don’t touch me, let alone put your hand over my face. I saw an interview with people on the streets about this (hello? Isn’t there a war going on somewhere?) and the girl said, granted she didn’t want to comment on Clay’s personal hygiene but there are times when guys have been know on certain occasions to – shall we say – not wash their hands after certain activities. Trust me, I’ve gone ballistic at my DH over this very issue. And get your head out of the gutter over there.

Now Rosie jumps in. Ok. First and foremost, everyone is entitled to their opinion. We all see the world a little differently due to our personal life experiences. I guarantee that Rosie has experienced some idiot treating her like she has leprosy simply because she publicly declared her sexual orientation. She is entitled to her reaction. When people who are non-white have faced racism, you have to expect they are looking for it, are sensitive it and will be defensive about it. However, to publicly accuse someone of being homophobic, especially in the manner she did, seems pretty irresponsible to me. Maybe if she worded it differently, like, “hey, those sensitive to gay issues saw it this way, so be careful.” Rosie being Rosie, I really doubt that would happen, but I like to hope people can rise above knee-jerk reactions.

Now Kelly is upset and called in and they spent Bob only knows how long “discussing” it on The View and pretty much made everyone feel uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Clay, who seems like a half-way decent guy when all this broke, has been labeled as a gay who doesn’t wash his hands. Gee, that seems fair. The guy has made no public statement about his orientation. It really doesn’t matter a whole lot to me personally, but I bet it does to him. If he’s straight, how does it make him feel to have to defend his orientation over and over again? I’ve know a lot of guys that for whatever reason had people wonder if they were gay or not and if they are straight, it’s pretty tough too. If he is gay, well geez, he’s been outted without his consent. If someone hasn’t outted themselves they usually have concerns about how their family and friends will handle the news. And the whole cold/flu/has-he-washed-his-hands thing, good grief. Anybody would be embarrassed about that.

If it was me, I don’t know what I’d be mortified about first. That I made someone I just met uncomfortable? That the person made a face after I’d touched them? That I’m being looked at as disease-carrying vermin? That someone I don’t even know is discussing my sexual orientation?

So thanks Media Gods for making an already awkward situation much, much worse.

I think I’ll watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special as an antidote.

Ho Ho ... (hack) cough

2006-11-14T08:48:00.000-05:00

And so it begins.

I’ve been fighting this viral thing for a few weeks now and it can’t decide whether it wants to be bronchitis, a hacking chest cold or the sniffles. Last week it had the doctor thinking pneumonia, but thankfully it wasn’t that. All I know is that I’m tired all the time, so bear with me as I try to at least act like I’ve got it together over here.

DH and I went shopping last weekend to look for a new winter coat for me. My day job’s dress code is “business professional” so as much as I’d love to just wear my IU jacket all winter long, I probably shouldn’t. Plus I live in Purdue Boilermaker country, so that might make life just a little too interesting for me right now.

I used to love shopping. Now I’m in a stage where nothing fits and I get really frustrated with the whole experience. Let’s just say the coat shopping was a wash. 150 stores and only one coat fit. And it was too casual and probably not warm enough.

To the day’s credit, it was unseasonably warm and reached the 70s. This would normally be cause for great celebration, especially since it did not rain as forecasted. The bad thing was that all the stores had to fling the doors wide open because it was 100 degrees inside. Nothing like a little heat stroke while trying on winter coats.

And then there was the music. Christmas carols were played at full volume. I know they bring out the Christmas stuff earlier every year. I know it’s November and I really should not have been surprised. I mean, Thanksgiving is only a week and a half away. Still, nothing irks me more than Christmas music when I’m no where near being ready to even contemplate the holidays.

So we have Christmas music, unseasonably warm weather, sucky winter coat shopping, and furnaces going full blast in the stores. Grrrr. It was almost enough for me to start saying, “Bah. Humbug.”

What I probably should have done was gone to Cheeseburger in Paradise last. Cheeseburger in Paradise is a restaurant chain by none other than Jimmy Buffet himself. Kind of a family-friendly version of Margaritaville. For whatever reason, he decided Indianapolis needed one, and I won’t argue the point. Of course, there are a lot of Parrotheads in the area. Anyway, it’s fun and you actually feel like you’ve gotten away for a bit, or at least I do. And I hear the drinks are awesome (I’m still on my meds so no margaritas for me). Someday I will have a couple of those beach chairs they have in the lobby in my yard.

Livin’ on sponge cake …

Rosalie, I gotta littLe virus Part 2

2006-11-09T12:25:00.000-05:00

Well, crap.

I HATE being sick. DH and I have been planning this little daytime trip on Friday for weeks now and I'm sick. Not just "gee, I feel a little tired and under the weather." Oh no. I even went to the doctor, who in turn said, "You've got a viral something-or-other."

Without TMI, I've basically felt like crud for the past four weeks. And it's not even the same thing the entire time. Yeah, nothing like variety when you're trying to tell the doc you're sick.

So I've mainly had this cough. I get chronic bronchitis, so I thought no big deal. I'll just get told to rest and get a good decongestant. Wrong.

Instead, I get chest x-rays (something new for me) and a two day wait to find out if I've got pneumonia or not. Meanwhile I hope and pray my boss at my real job believes I am really sick and doesn't sack my sorry behind. So far, so good on that front. And no, I swear I am not faking it. It's just a major fear of mine that people don't believe me when I am.

The doc prescribed this cough medicine that I swear comes in a Super Big Gulp cup. The first thing I asked the pharmacist was if it was a "take until gone" or "take as needed" because the bottle was just that big. Thankfully, it's a "take as needed" which will probably come in handy since I get the coughing thing at least twice a year.

I don't know exactly what is in this stuff, but me-oh-my I couldn't remember my home phone number the next day. And I was trying to tell it to my boss in case anything came up. I tried to read and I'd fall asleep every hundred words or so.

Well, here we are two days later, still coughing and no x-ray results yet. I've missed a week of work, a week of writing, and DH tells me this morning he isn't feeling so good. He's now coughing and has a sore throat.

Sigh. I think my shopping trip may have to be postponed.

Audience Participation and Jeff Dunham

2006-11-01T09:33:00.000-05:00

First, a reminder to please check out the two versions of the opening scene I posted the other day. It's listed under Audience Participation. I really do appreciate feedback and thanks to those of you who already have!

I watched a comedy DVD the other day that I just had to pass along. Jeff Dunham's stand-up special has been on Comedy Central lately and I just found the DVD in my local video store. I've been a fan of his for years. It is by far one of the best comedy videos I've rented lately. Jeff's routine is broken up by the different puppets he uses: Walter, Sweet Daddy, Jose and Peanut. If you've not seen Jeff, don't be put off by the puppets. He comes off as this really nice, unassuming guy who has these truly wacked out puppets. Really, really funny stuff.

His site is: www.onastick.com

Favorite Quote (or maybe paraphrase - we're going from my memory here): Walter: (My wife) hopped on her menstrual cycle and ran my ass over.

Check him out.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

2006-10-31T08:13:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween, everybody.

In my humble opinion, it sure ain't what it used to be.

One of my favorite comedians is Heywood Banks of Bob and Tom fame. He has a Halloween song that about sums it all up: it's hard to be scary at four in the afternoon. We've watered down a holiday in the fear that someone will be offended. Now granted, this is a celebration of the icky, the spooky and the dead, but it doesn't have to be.

I just read an article about how it is mathematically impossible for vampires to be real. Okaay. Kinda sad when we have to be told this, isn't it? You'd think that after all these years, someone would have found proof somewhere about vampires, werewolves, monsters, etc. It is FICTION. Granted, it is fun fiction. I am huge Buffy/Angel, Charmed, and Supernatural fan. Not a big horror movie fan though. More like spooky-lite. I know that is probably a cop out to the die-hard fans out there, but that's where my comfort level is.

Back to Halloween. Schools can't have Halloween parties anymore. Parents have the check out the candy before the kids eat it. Some places offer free x-rays for the candy. Some people look at you like you are a Satan worshipper if you even talk about Halloween. You can't adopt a black cat around Halloween. Those things are even scarier to me than the day itself. Sad, sad, sad.

Sometimes I think the best way to remove the negativity from something is to make it into something so ridiculous that it becomes trivial. Costumes aren't just about monsters, ghosts and witches. There isn't anything really scary about a ballerina or a cowboy or a pretty princess. We buy costumes for our pet's now, for pete's sake. Trust me, my dog is none to happy about that particular development but I can't seem to help myself.

I love dressing up. A pirate, an 80's flashback, a gypsy - all big favorites of mine. I had a friend in high school whose birthday was around Halloween and every year she threw a big costume party. Puns and wacky costumes were always the biggest hits. My father is threatening to dress up like a Chick Magnet - a black sweatsuit covered with little rubber chicks. Gee, great Dad. My father the Chick Magnet. Remind me to stand over here ...

Now I also do believe there is genuine evil in the world, but I hardly think that handing out candy to a bunch of kids dressed as M&Ms is going to be the end of the world as we know it. Take back the night and put the scary stuff back where it belongs - in the stuff of stories and urban legends. Line up the angels and superheroes next to the villians and see who outnumbers who.

Every once in a while I think we need the darkness to see the light.

Have a safe and Happy Halloween!

Audience Participation - Opening Scene

2006-10-27T13:04:00.000-04:00

I'm looking for a little help here. I have two versions of an opening scene, but I've been knee deep in them for so long, I've lost my perspective. If you are so inclined, give these a read and tell me which one works better for you.

This is the opening scene for a historical romance set in approximately 1890 in New England.

Thanks for your help!

Version I
Sixteen year-old Bethany Spencer’s world just tilted on its axis.

She could not catch her breath. She felt dizzy, off balance. She floated several inches above the ground. Birds were singing. The sun was shining. In fact, Bethany would not have been surprised if a choir of heavenly hosts began to sing. Not a single rational thought existed in her muddled brain.

Her first kiss was everything she ever dreamed of and more. Of course, in the hands of Tyler St. James, there was no doubt in her mind it would be anything less than wonderful.

She finished her morning ride and stopped at the pond that bordered the lands between her home and Tyler’s. As she stood along the railing in the gazebo that overlooked the water, Tyler appeared. This in itself was not that uncommon as the gazebo was shared by both their families and she and Tyler frequently met here when they rode together, although not as much of late. With the young ladies of town falling under the spell of dark hair and mesmerizing green eyes, Tyler and his twin brother Derrick were well on their way to becoming an out and out scoundrels. Lately Tyler spent most of his time chasing one skirt or another while ignoring the skirt of the girl had known nearly his entire life. That is, until this very moment.

It was several moments after he set her back on her feet that her senses returned. She blinked her adoring eyes several times up at his, finally focusing on the rather smug look on his handsome face.

“Surprised you, didn’t I?” he said, extraordinarily full of himself.

She barely trusted herself to speak, so she kept her words simple. “Why?”

“Why did I kiss you? I don’t know, really. It just seemed like the thing to do.”

He just kissed her and he didn’t know why. Some of her elation began to dissipate. Not that she expected a declaration of undying love or anything, but something would have been nice.

“Like the thing to do?” she repeated.

“Yes. It is a wonderful day. A wonderful day and I’ve received wonderful news.” He was in constant motion around her, unable to constrain his enthusiasm.

“What good news?” she asked, suddenly wary.

“You may be the first to congratulate me, Beth. I am officially engaged to be married.”

She stilled. Her breath lodged itself within her throat and there seemed to be a rather real pain in her heart from the metaphorical knife stabbing her there.

“Married,” she managed to croak. This was not news she expected to hear. After all, she rather planned to marry him herself, eventually. Of course, he did not seem to know this.

“Yes! I am engaged to the most beautiful girl in all the world.”

Lovely. The knife in her heart began to twist. “Who … who is the lucky lady?”

“Miss Julia Dobbs.”

And the knife stabbed home for the killing blow.

“Julia Dobbs. Blond haired, blue-eyed Julia Dobbs?” Viper-tongued, evil eyed, don’t-trust-her-as-far-as-you-can-throw-her Julia Dobbs? She began to see him in shades of red. And scarlett. And crimson.

His grin went ear to ear. “That’s the one.”

To her utter amazement, her voice showed no reflection of the upheaval she felt erupting inside. “So, you asked her to marry you, she accepted, and you celebrate by giving me a kiss.”

Something in her tone pierced through his euphoric haze. He sat upon the railing, pushing his dark hair away from his eyes as he had let it grow unfashionably long. Again. “You are happy for me, aren’t you, Beth?”

“Words cannot describe it. I can think of only one thing that could possibly top my day.”

He smiled. “What is that?” he asked.

She marched right up to him and swung her fist, connecting solidly with his nose, exactly how he taught her. He fell backwards over the railing and into the flowerbed.

She then promptly yanked her skirts out of the way, turned on her heel, and marched back to her house. All in all, she thought she showed admirable restraint considering he just ruined her first kiss.

And their lifelong friendship pretty much went to hell in a handbasket after that.

******************************************************

Version II

Sixteen year-old Bethany Spencer’s world just tilted on its axis.

She could not catch her breath. She felt dizzy, off balance. Not a single rational thought existed in her muddled brain.

Her throbbing hand finally gathered her attention, as did the colorful bout of swearing coming from the other side of the gazebo railing, most likely from bushes. She shook her hand in the air, hoping the tingling would stop soon. Apparently today was going to be marked as a series of firsts for her. It was the first time she had been kissed. It was also the first time she ever hit someone in the nose.

Her first kiss was everything she ever dreamed of and more. Of course, in the hands of Tyler St. James, there was little doubt in her mind it would be nothing short of wonderful. She was still undecided on the hitting part.

Tyler was a scoundrel, as was his twin brother Derrick. That particular fact never bothered her until now.

“What the devil has gotten into you?” she heard Tyler demand from somewhere within the bushes.

Honestly, she could not say. All her life she strived to be the perfect daughter, the perfect image of respectability. However, when your hell-raising neighbors nickname you “Perfect” and torment you constantly, it gets to be somewhat tiresome. At some point, something would have to give.

She did not plan to fall in love with Tyler. It just happened. He was perfect (well, except for the scoundrel part) and completely the opposite of his annoying brother Derrick. She refused to do anything that let Tyler know her feelings, of course. She rather hoped that one day he would figure it out for himself, he would shed his scandalous ways, and they would marry, living in perfect harmony.

Then he went and ruined it all by announcing he was going to marry. And not just anyone either. He was going to marry Julia Dobbs, the bane of her existence.

“Bethany! Blast it, I think you broke my nose!”

Unbeknownst to either of their fathers, Bethany blackmailed Tyler into some less than proper lessons. He taught her how to shoot a pistol and how to throw a knife. She was an excellent horsewoman and rode nearly as well as he did. He even taught her how to defend herself in case she would ever be accosted. As if that would ever happen in their sleepy little town of Fairlane. It was all a part of her plan for him to fall in love with her.

What he didn’t realize was that she was studying him for more than lessons. She watched him flirt and cajole his way through the female population of Fairlane. She learned all the tells of a scoundrel in the making and committed them to memory. She knew if he preferred blondes or brunettes (blondes). She knew his favorite color (blue). She even knew the name of each and every girl he ever kissed (too many to mention – the cad!). Still it came as a complete surprise when he strode up to her this afternoon, pulling her into his arms, and kissed her.

And then told her he was getting married. To her.

She stepped right up to him and swung her fist, connecting solidly with his nose, exactly how he taught her. He fell backwards over the railing and into the flowerbed.

In fact, he was still sitting in the flower bed holding his nose. She felt a moment’s remorse for hitting him, but then she remembered why she had done so.

The scoundrel.

She yanked her skirts out of the way, turned on her heel, and marched back to her house. All in all, she thought she showed admirable restraint considering he just ruined her first kiss.

And their friendship pretty much went to hell in a handbasket after that.

Coming attractions and Audience Participation

2006-10-24T08:31:00.000-04:00

You know, this blog is supposed to be kickstarting my manuscript, so I think it is time that I commit myself (no, not that way, sheesh) to putting something out here for people to actually read that isn't about my venting about the injustices in life.

On the He Wrote/She Wrote blog, there is a lot of discussion about prologues, flashbacks, their purpose and/or necessity. In my manuscript, I have a single event that has a profound effect on the heroine's life, but I don't want to get bogged down in backstory when I could hit the ground running. I've written three different versions of the opening already, so this is where I am going to ask for feedback.

So hopefully in the next few days, I will post the different openings and with any luck the crickets won't scare anybody away. Let me know which one works for you and makes you want to read more.

Whew. There's no turning back now.