My Super-Secret Decoder Ring Came In The Mail ...

I used to be really good at keeping secrets. Ok, it was mainly because I have a short attention span and would forget things almost instantly, but it was still a point of pride with me that I could be depended upon to keep a really good secret.

Then I met all my on-line friends, my beloved on-line confessors, and suddenly it took more willpower to keep my yapper shut than to pass on slice of oreo cheesecake.

But I did it. I kept a secret for almost two weeks - until it was time for the secret to be revealed. *Sniff* I am so proud of myself.

I belong to this great group of readers, writers and Jennifer Cruise fans called the Cherry Bombs. One of our horde, Bryan, had the honor of having one of his prints being selected for a juried art show in Bloomington. Very cool and a big deal. I received an email from CMS (aka Sheryl) saying hey, she and Me (aka Karen) were coming in town to support Bryan and did I want to join them. Since I only live about two hours away from where the art show was being held, I was all in.

Oh, I have to mention this. CMS came all the way from Ontario, Canada and Me from near Detriot, MI. These ladies are into some serious road trips.

DH and I took half a day off work and headed off to Bloomington. We traveled about 30 minutes before we were overcome with hunger and decided we couldn't drive another mile without eating. Yes, I know. We should plan our mealtimes ahead, especially on a roadtrip with a timetable. We ended up at Arni's, a local restraurant that thrives on pizza and stromboli. I didn't used to like thin crust on my pizza. Arni's helped widen my horizons, not to mention my pant size.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: "Honey, I know a short cut ..."

Ugh. I know, I know. I even looked at it on a map myself. It did look shorter, more scenic too. I am starting to realize the word "scenic" is another word for "school bus route from hell." I don't even think there were kids living in those houses. Maybe the bus drivers was looking for Oprah updates, or were in need of Dr. Phil.

So on we went to Bloomington. I received my Bachelors degree from Indiana University - Bloomington, so I was really looking forward to the trip. Spending four years there, certain things stick in your mind. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the city from moving the streets around on you. One way streets were now either two way or going in the opposite direction. Some streets were renamed and rerouted just to mess with me, I think. It was a minor miracle that we ever found the university, considering we had no idea what side of town we ended up on. Familiar landmarks turned out to be mirages in the sand, unless Bloomington suffered an unprecidented seismic eruption that rearranged the town.

Luckily I managed to find the Optometry building where I knew there was a parking garage and the building we needed was close by. Sure, I had to circle the block twice to get there, but this was progress. Now we were only running about 30 minutes late for the art show. According to my map, we were close. So close!

One thing about progress. There always seems to be construction somewhere. As we navigated our way through a jungle of orange construction fences, I called CMS to let her know we were close. She said she'd meet us outside by the steps. Yay! I was moments away from meeting my first CB!

Somehow we ended up on the wrong side of the building and had to hike up three flights of stairs to get in. Luckily, the stairs we needed to meet CMS were directily opposite the doors we came in instead of off some odd angle of the building like some are. We spied CMS. So here we come, Weezie and Woozie (DH and I were both sporting lovely colds), panting our way through an explanation of why we were coming from inside the building.

We made brief introductions and headed back inside. The art show consisted of a room about the size of my living room plus the hallway. And there were about 200 people crammed inside, bringing the temperature up to about 90 degrees in the hallway. DH hardly sweats, but that is OK because I was doing enough of that for the both of us. Not the first impression I wanted to make, but what can you do?

Finally we tracked down Bryan and Me. Bryan seemed a bit shell shocked but I wasn't sure if it was because of the surprise CBs or the whole art show gig, but he was rolling with it. That was fine, because I felt incredibly short. Within moments we were all laughing and chatting like old friends.

Now the art show was part of the Kinsey Institute and was an exhibition of erotic artwork. I didn't bother trying to explain this detail to my family. I was there to support Bryan and his tastefully elegant print. There were several equally tasteful artworks (Bryan's was the best, of course), but there are always the OTHERS.

Not to be confused with the OTHERS from the TV show "Lost" (although that may explain a few things), the OTHERS represents those works that either make you say, "Well, it's art," or "It's avant garde," or even "What the hell is that?" (DH, to his credit did not utter the latter once all day long. I am very proud of him.) The winning work fell into that abstract category. I swear, if I saw a little clown fish swimming next to it, I never would have thought twice about it. Maybe it was a series of sweat glands or whatever makes pheromones. Or balloon animals that went horribly awry. As for the other works, I'm not sure I'll look at mosaics, tissue holders or banks ever the same again. Hey, that's art. There is something for everybody. I just thank Bob Bryan's work was something you could identify what it was. I don't know that I could have handled it showing up blind and find a friend's entry listed as "Erotic Boogers on a Plate." Not that there is anything wrong with that -- wait. Yes, there is A LOT wrong with that, but I won't go there.

After the show, Me, Bryan and CMS showed me Philosopher's Walk. It was rather disappointing. It was three feet long. Maybe it used to be longer and erosion got to it. The campus environmental crusaders better get on that. What kind of ideas can you possibly get in three feet of walk? "I think I never shall see; a vision as lovely as a ... dang kamakaze squirrels!"

We met back up at Chili's, a bar and grill in honor of the CBs. I didn't get lost on the way there. I had a moment where I couldn't find the car again, but I persevered. Well, ok, it was the parking garage with the car inside it. Me valiantly demonstrated the dangers of trying to shoot a margarita up one's nose. I pondered the possibilites of changing my on-line name to "you." To go with Me. People would say, "You know," and I'd reply, "Why, yes I do." I'd also know what "You" did last night and who "You" were with last night." In fact, I'd know what "You" are doing right now. The possibilities are endless.

We also decided that some of the sobriety tests at checkpoints are simply made up by the officers in order to pass the time on a long night. And if you break into the macarena you just might be arrested anyway for being a danger to society.

It was a great night. They were all very funny and very nice. And no one said anything when my mascara gave up the ghost and gave me wild raccoon eyes from laughing so hard. (Yes, it was waterproof mascara - trust me, it's an ongoing problem).

So to Sheryl, Bryan and Karen: cheers, my friends. I hope we meet again soon.