'Scuse me while I kiss this guy...

That was the name of this daily calendar I had a few years ago. It was 365 misquoted song lyrics. That one was a misquote for Jimi Hendrix's "Scuse me While I Kiss the Sky." Some were absolutely hysterical. Others, well, it made you wonder what the person was smokin' to think the words were even close to that.

I come from a family that makes it a tradition to make up the words as we go along. Here are some classics:

"Give me the Beach Boys to soothe my soul..." (Drift Away. I can't remember the original artist, but it was remade by Uncle Kracker a few years ago.)

"Islands in the Street, that is what we are ..." (Islands in the Stream, by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers)

"There's a bathroom on the right..." (Bad Moon Rising, by Creedence Clearwater Revival)

"Bobby used to work like a doc..." (Living on a Prayer, by Bon Jovi)

Obviously, I am not alone in my cluelessness. There is a commercial on TV right now for one of those cell phones with an MP3 player on it where two guys debate if the lyrics are "Lock the cashbox" or "Stop the catbox" for "Rock the Kazbah" (sp?).

Personally, I love misquotes. I know someone who constantly invents new movie titles, TV shows and song lyrics. Half the fun is trying to figure out what she's talking about. You know, that movie with Tom Cruise: A Few Good Marines.

I think I have a new supporting character for a contemporary novel: Misquote Woman. Bob only knows I have enough material for her.

Do you have any favorite misquotes?

Damn it, Jim ...

(from Star Trek)

I don't know why, but that line always cracks me up. "Damn it, Jim. I'm a doctor, not an interior decorator!" (And yes, I just made that up. It wasn't in Star Trek.)

It's one of those lines that keeps popping up in conversations with my sisters. These are the same sisters who, at any given moment, will launch into a "Star Wars: Episodes IV - VI Quotefest". (deep breathing), "We're doomed!", "Governor Tarkin, I thought I recognized your foul stench.", "But Uncle Owen ...," "Beep bo Bap Bloop!", "Aauuuuuug!" (wookie-speak), "Sorry for the mess," "A little short for a Stormtrooper, aren't you?", "I care," and so on.

Dad is a huge Star Trek fan. Not Trekkie convention huge, but he holds an honest appreciation for the series. And I watched enough of it growing up that not only do I know what at Tribble is, but think the movie "Galaxy Quest" is possibly the funniest spoof movie ever.

I actually considered getting a scottish terrier just so I could name him Mr Scot and go around saying, "Aye, Cap'n!"

(And yes, I am well-aware of the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek. They just both happened to be a large part of my growing up.)

Several years ago there was this TV show called, "Two Guys, a Girl and Pizza Place," or something like that. The first season had one of my favorite TV characters of all time, played by David Ogden Stiers (Winchester from MASH). His character would channel some other famous character from a movie throughout the show. One time it was a football player, the Gipper or something. Another time he was Obi Wan from Star Wars. Cracked me up. I was devestated when he didn't return to the series.

So, do you have any quotes from movies or TV that show up from time to time in your life? Or am I the only nutcase that is so lucky? What is your favorite movie quote or favorite memory attached to a movie/TV show?

Hey, Rosalie. I think I gotta little virus.

(from I Love You To Death)

Actually not a virus, but was miserable just the same.

Every once in a while my body decides to take a little siesta, complete with Montezuma’s Revenge for whatever reason. Apparently too much stress, too little sleep and an extremely sensitive stomach was reason enough this time. Plus throw in Mother Nature’s way of saying, “Hey, you’re not PG,” and I was down for the count. I know, TMI, but I swear it’s like getting the stomach flu every month with every worst symptom. Yay me.

While I was in a moping contest yesterday with the dog for “Who is More Pathetic,” I finished reading Janet Evanovich’s “How I Write.” Excellent book, and not just for Plum maniacs such as myself who want to know every since detail of what went into writing the series of Stephanie Plum mysteries. In the back is an excellent section of resources for writers, including organizations, books and websites. As soon as I am fit to go out in public, I’m going to comb my local library to see what they’ve got from Janet's lists.

Over the weekend, my husband and I rented some movies, none of which were particularly noteworthy with the possible exception of “The Sentinel” with Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland. I liked it and was pleasantly surprised. Our other selections were kinda “out there” and included “Larry the Cable Guy in Health Inspector” (DH's pick. I cannot believe someone let my stepson watch it and it wasn’t at our house), “UltraViolet” (loved the cinematography and choreography but fell asleep due to the plot) and a documentary on the Boston comedy club scene from the eighties (love Stephen Wright, but it turns out I wanted straight up comedy, not a documentary about it).

Speaking of, my favorite Stephen Wright line is, “I spilled spot remover on my dog and he disappeared.”

Followed by my next favorite, “I’m in love with my dental hygienist. I eat a box of Oreos an hour before my appointment.”

(These are paraphrased because I don’t have my source handy and the man is just too funny not to share.)

Now if you will excuse me, I need to try and suck down some more 7-Up. Cheers.