This has nothing to do with Jennifer Crusie's blog by the same name. However, she has one of the best blogs out there and if you like snark and want a taste of what an author's life is really like, please go check it out. I've got a link on the sideboard over there.
No, today "Argh" simply has to do with my chronic foot-in-mouth disease.
Last night was the first night in about six weeks that I had free. No shopping, no running to do, no working. Just me, DH, my sweats, the comfy couch and TV. I even took a nap. DH was on the phone when there was a knock at the door. I untangled myself from the blanket, wrangled the dog away from the front door and found two vaguely familiar faces on the porch. They gave us a present and wished us a belated Merry Christmas. I thought, how nice. One of the neighbors brought us something. I thanked them and asked which house they lived in. You know, so we could wave and say hi and such. There was a long awkward pause.
They were our landlords.
Yes, I pretty much wanted to find a nice, deep hole. DH still hasn't stopped laughing, so I will continue to blame him for my embarrassment. I mean, he could have said, "Hey, look. It's the landlords" or something. Wasn't he supposed to have x-ray vision to see through the door or some psychic ability that says, "Your stupid wife is about to make an ass of herself?" *Sigh*
You know, it's things like this that makes me want a superpower to make up for my shortcomings. The Power of Invisibility would have come in handy last night. That, or be Photographic Memory Woman.
I'm going to be kicking myself over this for a long time.
So today's question is this: If you could pick, what would your superpower be?
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Shock and Awe
First, I very sincerely hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.
Ours went fairly well. My folks came up from Tennessee and went overboard, as usual. Sis #2 recuperated enough to join us Christmas Day after being hit with that nasty stomach bug going around. I really do think it was a pretty good Christmas.
One thing did stand out as odd. DH's ex did something nice.
I know. *gasp!* OMB! Who are you and what have you done with the ex! (Not that we necessarily want the old one back, but ...)
We got a call from DSS on Saturday asking if he could drop off something for us. After arriving within a reasonable length of time (again, *gasp!*), DSS gave us two gift bags of goodies, one for us and one for my parents. DSS had to run off again, so we were left staring at each other stupidly. DH's expression said it all: WTF?
He actually turned to me and asked, "So, do you think it's safe to eat?"
Sure enough, when we opened it, there were some pre-wrapped goodies, including the oreos dipped in vanilla almond bark that I so love. There were some homebaked cookies too. The gingerbread men were intact, not with their heads ripped off, or knives in their backs. No vile messages written in icing. No Ex-lax laced chocolate chip cookies.
It was actually a very nice thing.
And to top it all off, the bags said, "Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All."
Of course, you have to remember that DSS has half of DH's DNA and DH is nearly a saint as far as I am concerned. Just last week DSS went up to another kid at school to check to see if he was OK because he seemed upset. Of course, he got kicked in the nuts for his consideration, but still it was a nice thing to do. He thinks the world of my parents and I have no trouble believing that he was behind the entire production. It's the part where his mom actually drove across town to deliver them that I have a hard time believing.
(For those of you new to the saga, we are in the beginning stages of what will no doubt be a very ugly custody battle for DSS.)
So, like, wow. And Hmm. Sorry, but once bitten, twice shy. It's really too bad that our experiences in the past have given us reason to doubt her motives. But, for now anyway, I will chalk it up to the idea that DSS wanted to do something nice.
And as for a certain other person on my poop list, yes I took the high road and was civil. That does not mean I've forgiven and forgotten. Sorry, but when some idiot spreads rumors at work out of spite about one of the most sacred things in your life, you just don't roll over on it. At least I don't. On this, I won't. Some things are worth defending.
Mellencamp has a line in one of his songs that I think goes something like this:
You gotta stand for somethin'
Or you'll fall for anything.
Ours went fairly well. My folks came up from Tennessee and went overboard, as usual. Sis #2 recuperated enough to join us Christmas Day after being hit with that nasty stomach bug going around. I really do think it was a pretty good Christmas.
One thing did stand out as odd. DH's ex did something nice.
I know. *gasp!* OMB! Who are you and what have you done with the ex! (Not that we necessarily want the old one back, but ...)
We got a call from DSS on Saturday asking if he could drop off something for us. After arriving within a reasonable length of time (again, *gasp!*), DSS gave us two gift bags of goodies, one for us and one for my parents. DSS had to run off again, so we were left staring at each other stupidly. DH's expression said it all: WTF?
He actually turned to me and asked, "So, do you think it's safe to eat?"
Sure enough, when we opened it, there were some pre-wrapped goodies, including the oreos dipped in vanilla almond bark that I so love. There were some homebaked cookies too. The gingerbread men were intact, not with their heads ripped off, or knives in their backs. No vile messages written in icing. No Ex-lax laced chocolate chip cookies.
It was actually a very nice thing.
And to top it all off, the bags said, "Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All."
Of course, you have to remember that DSS has half of DH's DNA and DH is nearly a saint as far as I am concerned. Just last week DSS went up to another kid at school to check to see if he was OK because he seemed upset. Of course, he got kicked in the nuts for his consideration, but still it was a nice thing to do. He thinks the world of my parents and I have no trouble believing that he was behind the entire production. It's the part where his mom actually drove across town to deliver them that I have a hard time believing.
(For those of you new to the saga, we are in the beginning stages of what will no doubt be a very ugly custody battle for DSS.)
So, like, wow. And Hmm. Sorry, but once bitten, twice shy. It's really too bad that our experiences in the past have given us reason to doubt her motives. But, for now anyway, I will chalk it up to the idea that DSS wanted to do something nice.
And as for a certain other person on my poop list, yes I took the high road and was civil. That does not mean I've forgiven and forgotten. Sorry, but when some idiot spreads rumors at work out of spite about one of the most sacred things in your life, you just don't roll over on it. At least I don't. On this, I won't. Some things are worth defending.
Mellencamp has a line in one of his songs that I think goes something like this:
You gotta stand for somethin'
Or you'll fall for anything.
Friday, December 22, 2006
A Few of My Favorite Things
I wasn't sure I'd have time to post again before Christmas, but it turns out I have a few minutes here to wish everyone a Merry Christmas again. And Happy Holidays.
I'm a little loopy due to lack of sleep. I can't remember the last day I had a complete day off -- and I've only been doing this two jobs thing for three weeks. Thank Bob I'm done after next week. Happy New Year to me!
Anyway, back to the loopiness: if I'm more scatterbrained than usual or run off on a bunch of tangents, that's why. No, I am not having an episode. Although if the episode would get me a few extra hours of sleep, I just might consider it.
Here is my Top Ten list of Favorite things about Christmas:
10. Christmas Carols. Or at least the first twenty times I hear them.
9. Candles. Yes, working at the Candle store has warped me. But I smell like Cinnamon and vanilla cookies when I come home.
8. Outdoor lights. My husband is gradually adding more to our collection. There are few things I enjoy more than driving around at night and seeing all the trees done up in white lights.
7. Christmas Cheer. No, no, not the booze. The good stuff. The good moods that really do pop up from time to time.
6. Pets. I have no idea why, but I am compelled to try and get a picture of the dog in front of the Christmas tree every year. He doesn't get it, doesn't like it, and doesn't want anything to do with it. It probably dates back to the year I stuck the poor dog in a Santa suit. Talk about one grumpy elf.
5. Christmas Cookies. Sugar cookies with frosting? Gingerbread men? Yum yum yum.
4. Friends and family. You know. The ones you actually want to spend time with.
3. Christmas specials on TV. I haven't seen Rudolph or Frosty or Charlie Brown yet this season. I need to get cracking!
2. Children's choir at church. I know, I know. I need to go to church more. But my favorite memory of my old church in La Porte was the mass with the children's choir. Especially when they've just learned to sing staccato. "And heav-en and na-ture's sing!"
And the number one Most Favorite Thing about Christmas...
1. Christmas Morning. It doesn't matter if you're five or eighty five. There is an extra something special about waking up and opening presents in your bathrobe with your loved ones. Providing Dad isn't taking pictures.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
I'm a little loopy due to lack of sleep. I can't remember the last day I had a complete day off -- and I've only been doing this two jobs thing for three weeks. Thank Bob I'm done after next week. Happy New Year to me!
Anyway, back to the loopiness: if I'm more scatterbrained than usual or run off on a bunch of tangents, that's why. No, I am not having an episode. Although if the episode would get me a few extra hours of sleep, I just might consider it.
Here is my Top Ten list of Favorite things about Christmas:
10. Christmas Carols. Or at least the first twenty times I hear them.
9. Candles. Yes, working at the Candle store has warped me. But I smell like Cinnamon and vanilla cookies when I come home.
8. Outdoor lights. My husband is gradually adding more to our collection. There are few things I enjoy more than driving around at night and seeing all the trees done up in white lights.
7. Christmas Cheer. No, no, not the booze. The good stuff. The good moods that really do pop up from time to time.
6. Pets. I have no idea why, but I am compelled to try and get a picture of the dog in front of the Christmas tree every year. He doesn't get it, doesn't like it, and doesn't want anything to do with it. It probably dates back to the year I stuck the poor dog in a Santa suit. Talk about one grumpy elf.
5. Christmas Cookies. Sugar cookies with frosting? Gingerbread men? Yum yum yum.
4. Friends and family. You know. The ones you actually want to spend time with.
3. Christmas specials on TV. I haven't seen Rudolph or Frosty or Charlie Brown yet this season. I need to get cracking!
2. Children's choir at church. I know, I know. I need to go to church more. But my favorite memory of my old church in La Porte was the mass with the children's choir. Especially when they've just learned to sing staccato. "And heav-en and na-ture's sing!"
And the number one Most Favorite Thing about Christmas...
1. Christmas Morning. It doesn't matter if you're five or eighty five. There is an extra something special about waking up and opening presents in your bathrobe with your loved ones. Providing Dad isn't taking pictures.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Yes, that's right. I said Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
First, Merry Christmas. Because that's who I am, who I was raised to be. And a significant part of that is the line, "good will to all people." You know, the part a lot of people are forgetting lately. If you celebrate Hanukah or Kwanzaa or Festivus or the Winter Solstice or any other religious or cultural holiday at this time of year, I wish you the best one ever. And a Happy New Year to all too.
Instead of emphasizing our differences, I like to be reminded of sameness. I like to think that basically people are good with good intentions. Despite what you may see at the mall.
There are a lot of people hurting out there. I personally know that sometimes the littlest kindness can mean the world to someone when they are low. Sometimes a little spark of hope is all you need.
Last night at the candle store, I saw two ladies pay it forward. It was a simple, small act of kindness, giving away a $10 off coupon that they didn't use, momentarily bewildering the man receiving it. Maybe I imagined it, but when he left the store, he had a bigger smile on his face and a little more bounce in his step. Sure, maybe he just happened to finish his Christmas shopping too, but I will continue to think that the gesture made an impact. To me, ten bucks is still ten bucks. I've never won that much from the lottery, so to me that would be a big deal.
Anyway folks, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Pay it forward if you can and I hope you all find inner peace.
First, Merry Christmas. Because that's who I am, who I was raised to be. And a significant part of that is the line, "good will to all people." You know, the part a lot of people are forgetting lately. If you celebrate Hanukah or Kwanzaa or Festivus or the Winter Solstice or any other religious or cultural holiday at this time of year, I wish you the best one ever. And a Happy New Year to all too.
Instead of emphasizing our differences, I like to be reminded of sameness. I like to think that basically people are good with good intentions. Despite what you may see at the mall.
There are a lot of people hurting out there. I personally know that sometimes the littlest kindness can mean the world to someone when they are low. Sometimes a little spark of hope is all you need.
Last night at the candle store, I saw two ladies pay it forward. It was a simple, small act of kindness, giving away a $10 off coupon that they didn't use, momentarily bewildering the man receiving it. Maybe I imagined it, but when he left the store, he had a bigger smile on his face and a little more bounce in his step. Sure, maybe he just happened to finish his Christmas shopping too, but I will continue to think that the gesture made an impact. To me, ten bucks is still ten bucks. I've never won that much from the lottery, so to me that would be a big deal.
Anyway folks, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Pay it forward if you can and I hope you all find inner peace.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Space: The Final Frontier (white space on a page, that is)
My journey into writerdom began as an exercise to block out the day's craziness in order to fall asleep. I hated my job then and the stress was eating me alive. That's how my little world of Fairlane was born.
I kinda liked the people there, and they had some interesting things going on and I decided to write it down.
My first writing project was set in historical New England. Why New England? I've only been there twice, both when I was considerably younger. To be honest, I just cannot see a whole lot of interest for stories set in rural Indiana. For the time period I'm working with, Indiana was predominately agricultural unless you were on the main waterways. My hometown is LaPorte, which means "the door." As in, someplace you pass through on your way to someplace else. I now live in Lafayette and am gradually learning about the importance of the waterways to the area. Shipping and commerce are more in the lines of what I need from my hero. He needs to be wealthy, but not just living off the family fortune. My hero needs to be able to create an empire of power, money and information that will make him a force to be reckoned with -- until our heroine shows up and twists him up in knots.
I also needed a place near the cities of importance to my characters' world. He is in business. He needs to be near big cities, shipping centers, major hubs of industry. She is a physician, a rarity for the late 1800s. The first women's college for physicians was in Pennsylvania in the 1890s. Women physicians primarily treated women and children in the beginning and those hospitals were the first to hire them. Travel by train was common, so to have our heroine working in hospitals in New York, and Boston would fit. Their worlds would overlap in a realistic fashion for the time.
The characters have evolved considerably since my first attempts to put them on a page. My hero was too perfect, too best-friend-like. He had nowhere to grow. My heroine was worse. She was a crying, fainting, weak thing. I had set aside my first draft for a few years and when I reread it, I couldn't stand her. Sure, she had room to grow, but who cared? She wasn't worthy of Mr. Perfect and the two of them together were to most boring lovestory ever told.
So I went back to the "masters." I reread and studied who I liked to read: Amanda Quick, Johanna Lindsay, and Julia Quinn with little detours to Jennifer Crusie, Janet Evanovich, Laurell K. Hamilton and Katie MacAllister.
I am older now and so is my heroine. I didn't really know myself until I hit my thirties, so I made her mature for her age and a bit older than the usual marriagable age. I wanted her to be close in age to the hero so that they grew up together, forging a bond at an early age that carried over into adulthood. What could possibly be more unnerving for the town's most eligible bachelor than someone who knows his every secret?
I'm going to break this process into a couple of posts, but I'll leave you with my worst sin from my first draft: I assumed that since my grandmother talked about making chocolate chip cookies as a child, that the cookies were around forever. What difference could 30 years possibly make? A lot apparently. Chocolate chips were not available to the public until the 20th century, so do not put them in your historical novel taking place in 1890. Do the research. We have the internet now, so some of these things are easier to find than ever.
I kinda liked the people there, and they had some interesting things going on and I decided to write it down.
My first writing project was set in historical New England. Why New England? I've only been there twice, both when I was considerably younger. To be honest, I just cannot see a whole lot of interest for stories set in rural Indiana. For the time period I'm working with, Indiana was predominately agricultural unless you were on the main waterways. My hometown is LaPorte, which means "the door." As in, someplace you pass through on your way to someplace else. I now live in Lafayette and am gradually learning about the importance of the waterways to the area. Shipping and commerce are more in the lines of what I need from my hero. He needs to be wealthy, but not just living off the family fortune. My hero needs to be able to create an empire of power, money and information that will make him a force to be reckoned with -- until our heroine shows up and twists him up in knots.
I also needed a place near the cities of importance to my characters' world. He is in business. He needs to be near big cities, shipping centers, major hubs of industry. She is a physician, a rarity for the late 1800s. The first women's college for physicians was in Pennsylvania in the 1890s. Women physicians primarily treated women and children in the beginning and those hospitals were the first to hire them. Travel by train was common, so to have our heroine working in hospitals in New York, and Boston would fit. Their worlds would overlap in a realistic fashion for the time.
The characters have evolved considerably since my first attempts to put them on a page. My hero was too perfect, too best-friend-like. He had nowhere to grow. My heroine was worse. She was a crying, fainting, weak thing. I had set aside my first draft for a few years and when I reread it, I couldn't stand her. Sure, she had room to grow, but who cared? She wasn't worthy of Mr. Perfect and the two of them together were to most boring lovestory ever told.
So I went back to the "masters." I reread and studied who I liked to read: Amanda Quick, Johanna Lindsay, and Julia Quinn with little detours to Jennifer Crusie, Janet Evanovich, Laurell K. Hamilton and Katie MacAllister.
I am older now and so is my heroine. I didn't really know myself until I hit my thirties, so I made her mature for her age and a bit older than the usual marriagable age. I wanted her to be close in age to the hero so that they grew up together, forging a bond at an early age that carried over into adulthood. What could possibly be more unnerving for the town's most eligible bachelor than someone who knows his every secret?
I'm going to break this process into a couple of posts, but I'll leave you with my worst sin from my first draft: I assumed that since my grandmother talked about making chocolate chip cookies as a child, that the cookies were around forever. What difference could 30 years possibly make? A lot apparently. Chocolate chips were not available to the public until the 20th century, so do not put them in your historical novel taking place in 1890. Do the research. We have the internet now, so some of these things are easier to find than ever.
Monday, December 18, 2006
The Best Christmas Pagent Ever
One of my favorite Christmas specials ever. Just had to throw that out there. It's the one with Loretta Switt and the welfare kids who bring a ham for baby Jesus. I love the angel at the pagent.
I was on the Running With Quills blog a few weeks ago and the question was posed, "What are your holiday traditions?"
Since I seem to gravitate toward the humorous, I immediately joined in with the dumbest tradition I have ever started. Now that my step-son is fully aware that I am nuts, he just sits back and waits to see what I'll do next. Therefore, I have to keep doing the afore mentioned stupid thing until he is married and starts his own traditions he will live to regret.
Don't worry. My husband is fully aware of the nuttiness as well. I believe his motto is currently, "Way to go, Vern."
I got stockings for our pets.
I don't just mean for the dog. The dog is every bit as much family as the people are, although I know there are some of you out there who are shaking your heads already. Oh no, I got stockings for the guinea pig, the goldfish, and our the tropical fish. We had one for the hamster, but sadly he passed on to the big hamster ball in the sky.
At first, it was cute. Little snack sticks for the rodents and fish flakes for the fish. Ok, the guinea pig I can deal with. There are all kinds of snacks for Tiger like a salt wheel, snack sticks, flavored wood thingies, yogurt ma-bobs, etc. But the fish? Oh look. More fish flakes. Great.
Maybe I just need to buy more fish. Look! Santa brought you new friends!
I tried to "forget" the pet stockings last year. DSS busted me. How do you tell a kid his pets are undeserving of presents from Santa? Even if there is a good possibility he no longer believes in Santa, I think he gets a kick out of the fact that everyone in my family still gets presents from the big guy. Heck, we all get presents from the dogs. Oh, I wasn't supposed to buy you anything else? But I didn't. The dog got that for you. *wink wink*
Do you have any goofy traditions in your family for the holidays?
I was on the Running With Quills blog a few weeks ago and the question was posed, "What are your holiday traditions?"
Since I seem to gravitate toward the humorous, I immediately joined in with the dumbest tradition I have ever started. Now that my step-son is fully aware that I am nuts, he just sits back and waits to see what I'll do next. Therefore, I have to keep doing the afore mentioned stupid thing until he is married and starts his own traditions he will live to regret.
Don't worry. My husband is fully aware of the nuttiness as well. I believe his motto is currently, "Way to go, Vern."
I got stockings for our pets.
I don't just mean for the dog. The dog is every bit as much family as the people are, although I know there are some of you out there who are shaking your heads already. Oh no, I got stockings for the guinea pig, the goldfish, and our the tropical fish. We had one for the hamster, but sadly he passed on to the big hamster ball in the sky.
At first, it was cute. Little snack sticks for the rodents and fish flakes for the fish. Ok, the guinea pig I can deal with. There are all kinds of snacks for Tiger like a salt wheel, snack sticks, flavored wood thingies, yogurt ma-bobs, etc. But the fish? Oh look. More fish flakes. Great.
Maybe I just need to buy more fish. Look! Santa brought you new friends!
I tried to "forget" the pet stockings last year. DSS busted me. How do you tell a kid his pets are undeserving of presents from Santa? Even if there is a good possibility he no longer believes in Santa, I think he gets a kick out of the fact that everyone in my family still gets presents from the big guy. Heck, we all get presents from the dogs. Oh, I wasn't supposed to buy you anything else? But I didn't. The dog got that for you. *wink wink*
Do you have any goofy traditions in your family for the holidays?
Friday, December 15, 2006
Danger! Danger, Will Robinson ...
Hmm. Christmas is essentially one week away. I haven't even opened my boxes of Christmas Cards yet, let alone addressed them. I just may have to take a guy at work's advice and just drop a bunch of addresses into my computer and print them out on labels. Horribly impersonal, I know, but it's crunch time, people.
What's worse is that DH and I moved back in February, so most of our family and friends have our old address. As an extra added bonus, I think the post office only forwards your mail for 6 months. We've gotten only five cards ourselves this year: our moms, my two sisters, and one aunt of mine who thought to call my mom for our address. And we had a family portrait done this year too. That I still haven't printed the copies off to stuff in the cards.
Maybe it will end up being a "Holiday" card instead.
And at job #2, for some reason, I volunteered to pick up a shift. That will put me at 22 hours, plus the 40 at my day job. Yes, that was a brilliant idea, considering how far behind I am with everything.
DH, Bob love him, is offering/having to do everything else I can't get to. He and DSS are actually braving the mall tonight to go Christmas shopping. Nice, because they will stop by and say hello. That will help get me through. I'm half afraid to ask him to finish up my shopping because he's been so great about me not being home at night and doing the house stuff. Thank Bob for gift cards.
Last night I threw out the idea of DH and DSS making cookies this weekend while I'm at work. I'm doing a little "yikes" because this is uncharted territory. DSS and I usually do the cookies together, but I think I've trained him well. That and he told me this week that he made what we call "eye balls" by himself for his brothers. "Eye balls" are small pretzels, white almond bark and M&Ms. With regular M&Ms, they look like eyeballs. With Christmas ones, they are just festive.
Now DH is a big boy and surely he's baked cookies himself at some point. Just not since I've known him. In the past seven years. He's more of the "I can work on your car, split wood and fix what's broken" kind of person. There is definitely something to be said for someone who is handy. Trust me, my sisters are quickly learning that, especially when they can save $300 on a brake job for the car. But cookies? I have the feeling he just might panic and get everything set up so it's ready when I come home.
And it is just cookies. Having someone prep them wouldn't be too bad at all.
Have I mentioned I adore the two guys in my life?
(The photo was forwarded to me, but I believe it originated from CNN's Offbeat page under Images. I think it's an AP photo from a mall in Japan. If I can locate the credits I will post them shortly. No, I have not been to Japan this Christmas season.)
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