So far, so good

I had an interview last night for the second job/part-time thing. Not a real biggie, just retail at the mall during Christmas, maybe longer. The interview went well, and with any luck, I scored well on the "personality" quiz. You know, the ones where it asks you to answer true or false as to whether or not you think it is OK to steal from your employer. I tend to over analyze, but I'm sure they don't want a psychological analysis over these answers. "Everybody steals." Well, I sure hope not since I don't really relish calling security every two minutes. But have most people walked off with someone else's pen at some point of their lives? I think so. That is technically stealing, though hardly worth spending twenty to life over.

See what I mean?

I think the store just wants to know whether or not I can be trusted with the cash drawer and not steal all our customer's credit card numbers.

Actually, my only fear is that The Ex will stop in to try and make things awkward. Nope, scratch that. Try living hell. I could really see her doing this. Oh, security ...?

Ode to Trent

Trent is my miniature schnauzer. He is a fifteen pound terror, but look how cute he is! I know, my momness is showing. Trent was given to us by my dear friend Cindy as a wedding present. She raises schnauzers and I have known her since the second grade. Despite that, she has remained my dear friend.

In case you are wondering "Why Trent?", the answer is this: pure laziness. Cindy's daughter named him and when we brought him home, no one could agree on a new name. Naming a pet is biggie for me. I had charts and everything. I think it boiled down to the fact that whenever we said, "Trent," he looked mildly interested, so the name stuck.

People who don't know the dog's back story think I have a thing for my insurance agent, as Trent is his name too. No, I do not have the hots for my insurance agent. My father works for an insurance company and I worked for one for seven years too. I certainly don't need it in my personal life too. I adore my DH, but if he worked in insurance, I might have had to reconsider the whole thing.

By the way, the big red dog looks a lot like my mom's golden retriever Molly. Trent is the little brother she never wanted. Talk about sibling rivalry. Naturally, if one is getting petted, the other has to be petted too. Bob forbid the wrong mom pet the wrong dog. I swear, if dogs could talk these two would sound a lot like, "Mom! He/She's touching me! He/she got more than I did! Mom likes me better!"

Molly stayed with us over Thanksgiving while my folks were in town. My sister has a bigger bed, so she got my parents. We have a fenced in yard, hence the dog sitting. Schnauzers don't shed, so it takes a bit of adjustment when you have a one hundred pound redhead exploding fur everywhere in the house for several days. Still, it was a good visit for all, even if my socks are still getting extra fuzzy.

Hopefully Trent will be good for DH as it looks like I may be starting a second job soon. I have an interview tonight so wish me luck!

Oops

Um, a word of caution. Don't change the language setting on your blog without memorizing where the "Change Language" link is.

And no, the Blog Fairy will not magically transcribe your words into French, German or Chinese.

Just trust me on this.

Ok. It's safe to come out now.

Whew. Done venting. On to happier things.

Back on the He Wrote/She Wrote blog (see links), a few of the CherryBombs are posting descriptions of each other.

Considering the frightening quality of my crickets over in this neck of the woods, I believe I will be safe in posting my own description of myself, especially since I'm still fairly new over there. Nobody's met me in person (that I know of) and just a few brave souls have ventured over here.

I'm just anonymous enough to be dangerous. Tee-hee.

So here we go:

Name: btuda

Alias: bren tuda, foiler of the evil ex

Age: always a year younger than my husband

Height: increasingly shorter than my two younger sisters

Sign: National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support (see www.whatonearthcatalog.com).

Likes: Chocolate

Dislikes: On going diarrheal stupidity

Favorite Authors: Jennifer Crusie, Bob Mayer, Jayne Ann Krentz, Murphy (of Murphy's Law)

Something no one knows about me: Since you are what you eat, I've grown three belly buttons, have a slight spongy quality and am filled with creme filling.

Favorite Curse Word: @#$%!, usually followed by &*$%@ #$%^(* @#%$&* @#&^*&%$!!!

The Ex Strikes Again - Dumb De Dumb Dumb

Gotta love it. DH's ex had her attorney send us a letter requesting financial info to re-evaluate child support. Under normal circumstances, the length of time since the last evaluation is long enough to consider this a reasonable request.

However, in the past 12 months, the child in question has been held back in school due to a lack of support at home, and has been diagnosed with what is basically pre-adolescent depression. Also, Child Protective Services have investigated her (not due to us) for neglect several times (nothing has stuck yet - neglect is extremely hard to prove) and a local agency has a case worker working with him in school and with the counselors. Added on top of this the number of times she's called and said, "He needs this," and we've taken care of it, it's frustrating, to say the least.

This fall, we single-handedly (well, DH and I) have taken care of soccer and football seasons with absolutely no help from her, financially, rides or otherwise. That's practices and games 6 days a week, plus equipment purchases and fees. And she only showed up to one game this last session. For her own child. Way to be there for him, mom.

And do you know why I think she's doing this now? She broke up with her latest sugar-daddy and Christmas is right around the corner. There is always a new boyfriend around Christmas who usually gets dumped shortly after. It never ceases to amaze me how easily she finds guy after guy after guy after guy willing to hand over money and his charge cards to her. I tell you, she is the best dressed welfare mom I've seen in a while. She's always going on trips too. We had our step-son over for Thanksgiving this year, which means the youngest brother was at his dad's too. Did she have a special family dinner for her and the older son (sadly, his dad is not in the picture)? Nope. She packed him off to a friend's house and went to Arkansas to make up with the last boyfriend.

So DH and I are busy trying to find a new attorney, to at least make sure we don't lose our shirts on this child support deal.

Sigh.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I know things are rough, but we all have something to be thankful for.

Thanksgiving is at my house this year. My folks and their dog are coming up from Tennessee. My two sisters live close by. I even managed to convince my mother-in-law to join us (I adore my mother-in-law, so no snarky comments out there about in-laws. Anyone who could make my life miserable and chooses not to gets some gratitude from me. Besides, she did a great job with my DH.).

It’s supposed to be warm, so I suppose if we really run out of room we could break out the lawn chairs and sit outside and watch the dogs frolic. Molly is a hundred pound golden retriever with an attitude problem. Mom and Dad got her just after I started seeing my DH. My dog Trent is a fifteen pound miniature schnauzer who’s the little brother Molly never wanted. For the most part they tolerate each other and sometimes even play. Still, there are times I swear Molly has this expression that says, “What’s with the circus freak? All this running and jumping around? WTH?”

On to current events. Apparently I missed the whole Rosie O’Donnell/Kelly Ripa/Clay Aiken thing. Sometimes I really hate the media. Talk about mountains out of mole hills. Now we have three people all running around doing damage control. Well, except for Rosie. She’s just Rosie. Always will be. I love her, but sometimes I want to tell her to chill out a minute. Breathe. Ohm.

For those of you who don’t know, Clay was on Regis and Kelly. At one point of the show, Clay reached over and put his hand over Kelly’s mouth. Kelly made a face and the media was all over it. Now Rosie jumps in, and tells everyone on The View that she saw it as a homophobic reaction.

Geez, Louise, people.

First, admit it. We’ve all wanted to make Kelly shut up at one point or another. However, thinking it and doing it are two completely different things. I mean, think about it. Some guy you’ve never worked with before, reaches over and puts his hand over your mouth. As Kelly later said, it’s cold and flu season. She has kids. These are legit concerns. Personally I saw it as an invasion of personal space, but hey, that’s my thing. For Bob’s sake, if I don’t know you, don’t touch me, let alone put your hand over my face. I saw an interview with people on the streets about this (hello? Isn’t there a war going on somewhere?) and the girl said, granted she didn’t want to comment on Clay’s personal hygiene but there are times when guys have been know on certain occasions to – shall we say – not wash their hands after certain activities. Trust me, I’ve gone ballistic at my DH over this very issue. And get your head out of the gutter over there.

Now Rosie jumps in. Ok. First and foremost, everyone is entitled to their opinion. We all see the world a little differently due to our personal life experiences. I guarantee that Rosie has experienced some idiot treating her like she has leprosy simply because she publicly declared her sexual orientation. She is entitled to her reaction. When people who are non-white have faced racism, you have to expect they are looking for it, are sensitive it and will be defensive about it. However, to publicly accuse someone of being homophobic, especially in the manner she did, seems pretty irresponsible to me. Maybe if she worded it differently, like, “hey, those sensitive to gay issues saw it this way, so be careful.” Rosie being Rosie, I really doubt that would happen, but I like to hope people can rise above knee-jerk reactions.

Now Kelly is upset and called in and they spent Bob only knows how long “discussing” it on The View and pretty much made everyone feel uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, Clay, who seems like a half-way decent guy when all this broke, has been labeled as a gay who doesn’t wash his hands. Gee, that seems fair. The guy has made no public statement about his orientation. It really doesn’t matter a whole lot to me personally, but I bet it does to him. If he’s straight, how does it make him feel to have to defend his orientation over and over again? I’ve know a lot of guys that for whatever reason had people wonder if they were gay or not and if they are straight, it’s pretty tough too. If he is gay, well geez, he’s been outted without his consent. If someone hasn’t outted themselves they usually have concerns about how their family and friends will handle the news. And the whole cold/flu/has-he-washed-his-hands thing, good grief. Anybody would be embarrassed about that.

If it was me, I don’t know what I’d be mortified about first. That I made someone I just met uncomfortable? That the person made a face after I’d touched them? That I’m being looked at as disease-carrying vermin? That someone I don’t even know is discussing my sexual orientation?

So thanks Media Gods for making an already awkward situation much, much worse.

I think I’ll watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special as an antidote.

Ho Ho ... (hack) *cough*

And so it begins.

I’ve been fighting this viral thing for a few weeks now and it can’t decide whether it wants to be bronchitis, a hacking chest cold or the sniffles. Last week it had the doctor thinking pneumonia, but thankfully it wasn’t that. All I know is that I’m tired all the time, so bear with me as I try to at least act like I’ve got it together over here.

DH and I went shopping last weekend to look for a new winter coat for me. My day job’s dress code is “business professional” so as much as I’d love to just wear my IU jacket all winter long, I probably shouldn’t. Plus I live in Purdue Boilermaker country, so that might make life just a little too interesting for me right now.

I used to love shopping. Now I’m in a stage where nothing fits and I get really frustrated with the whole experience. Let’s just say the coat shopping was a wash. 150 stores and only one coat fit. And it was too casual and probably not warm enough.

To the day’s credit, it was unseasonably warm and reached the 70s. This would normally be cause for great celebration, especially since it did not rain as forecasted. The bad thing was that all the stores had to fling the doors wide open because it was 100 degrees inside. Nothing like a little heat stroke while trying on winter coats.

And then there was the music. Christmas carols were played at full volume. I know they bring out the Christmas stuff earlier every year. I know it’s November and I really should not have been surprised. I mean, Thanksgiving is only a week and a half away. Still, nothing irks me more than Christmas music when I’m no where near being ready to even contemplate the holidays.

So we have Christmas music, unseasonably warm weather, sucky winter coat shopping, and furnaces going full blast in the stores. Grrrr. It was almost enough for me to start saying, “Bah. Humbug.”

What I probably should have done was gone to Cheeseburger in Paradise last. Cheeseburger in Paradise is a restaurant chain by none other than Jimmy Buffet himself. Kind of a family-friendly version of Margaritaville. For whatever reason, he decided Indianapolis needed one, and I won’t argue the point. Of course, there are a lot of Parrotheads in the area. Anyway, it’s fun and you actually feel like you’ve gotten away for a bit, or at least I do. And I hear the drinks are awesome (I’m still on my meds so no margaritas for me). Someday I will have a couple of those beach chairs they have in the lobby in my yard.

Livin’ on sponge cake …

Rosalie, I gotta littLe virus Part 2

Well, crap.

I HATE being sick. DH and I have been planning this little daytime trip on Friday for weeks now and I'm sick. Not just "gee, I feel a little tired and under the weather." Oh no. I even went to the doctor, who in turn said, "You've got a viral something-or-other."

Without TMI, I've basically felt like crud for the past four weeks. And it's not even the same thing the entire time. Yeah, nothing like variety when you're trying to tell the doc you're sick.

So I've mainly had this cough. I get chronic bronchitis, so I thought no big deal. I'll just get told to rest and get a good decongestant. Wrong.

Instead, I get chest x-rays (something new for me) and a two day wait to find out if I've got pneumonia or not. Meanwhile I hope and pray my boss at my real job believes I am really sick and doesn't sack my sorry behind. So far, so good on that front. And no, I swear I am not faking it. It's just a major fear of mine that people don't believe me when I am.

The doc prescribed this cough medicine that I swear comes in a Super Big Gulp cup. The first thing I asked the pharmacist was if it was a "take until gone" or "take as needed" because the bottle was just that big. Thankfully, it's a "take as needed" which will probably come in handy since I get the coughing thing at least twice a year.

I don't know exactly what is in this stuff, but me-oh-my I couldn't remember my home phone number the next day. And I was trying to tell it to my boss in case anything came up. I tried to read and I'd fall asleep every hundred words or so.

Well, here we are two days later, still coughing and no x-ray results yet. I've missed a week of work, a week of writing, and DH tells me this morning he isn't feeling so good. He's now coughing and has a sore throat.

Sigh. I think my shopping trip may have to be postponed.

Audience Participation and Jeff Dunham

First, a reminder to please check out the two versions of the opening scene I posted the other day. It's listed under Audience Participation. I really do appreciate feedback and thanks to those of you who already have!

I watched a comedy DVD the other day that I just had to pass along. Jeff Dunham's stand-up special has been on Comedy Central lately and I just found the DVD in my local video store. I've been a fan of his for years. It is by far one of the best comedy videos I've rented lately. Jeff's routine is broken up by the different puppets he uses: Walter, Sweet Daddy, Jose and Peanut. If you've not seen Jeff, don't be put off by the puppets. He comes off as this really nice, unassuming guy who has these truly wacked out puppets. Really, really funny stuff.

His site is: www.onastick.com

Favorite Quote (or maybe paraphrase - we're going from my memory here): Walter: (My wife) hopped on her menstrual cycle and ran my ass over.

Check him out.