I've finally made it back. Physically, if not mentally.
Wilmington DE is definitely a 12 hour + trip, and I don't care what MapQuest says. DH, my sister and I left Friday morning at 8:30 AM. My other sister from Ohio had to work on Friday and flew into Philadelphia after work. As it turned out, we just reached Philly as her flight arrived so we swung by to pick her up. Then on to Wilmington. I think we got in around 11:30 PM.
The viewing for my uncle began at 8:30 AM on Saturday. The funeral was then set for 10:30. His widow has Alzheimer's and is in a very vocal and contrary stage, which made things interesting. Things were delayed several times, but finally everyone made it through with some degree of drama and some sedation involved. There was a lovely reception afterwards with lots of food (my family excels in food-oriented events). My folks took my sister back to the airport and we were finally able to crash at the hotel room. We had beautiful weather, and minimal headaches on the trip.
The trip back was relatively uneventful. We only made wrong turns twice, and I'd only consider the one time truly "lost". Funny, but even the not-so-nice areas have a certain charm when you are from out of town. We left at 8:30 AM from Wilmington and arrive back here in Lafayette at around 10:00 - 10:30 PM.
Yes, I feel like I've been hit by a cement truck today. Ugh. It's going to take awhile to recoup from this marathon.
Considering how close I came to saying, "Nope. Cannot do. Impossible," and then there was a tiny sliver of hope that made it possible. I still cannot believe I made it work. Uncle Ray was my godfather and I mourn the lack of time I spent with him. Years would go by between visits. I didn't get to tell him goodbye in person, and that is probably the biggest reason I was so upset about the thought of not being able to say a final goodbye at the funeral. Which is kinda silly if you think about it. I do believe you can say your goodbyes in your own time, at your own place, in your own way.
The trip was over 800 miles each way, and 8 of us from Indiana made the journey. For me at least, a large part of that was in support of my cousins and my father. Dad is not in the best of health, and Uncle Ray's death coming somewhat abruptly was a jolt. Hopefully, Dad will take it as a sign to take better care of himself.
Thanks for everyone's sympathies and hugs. It truly helped me start through this. I was pretty much able to keep it together until the first condolences started coming through. And that pretty much let me know just how much I was trying to juggle inside.
Thanks for sharing my quiet little corner with me.
7 comments:
Glad to see you're home safe and sound. It's always easier to grieve in familiar surroundings. And you know we'll always be here to listen as needed.
Glad to see you made it back. Those events can be draining even without the drama (but what's a good funeral without drama), so take care of yourself. (HUGS)
Welcome back!
Here, come and sit, I'll rub your feet while you drink a cold one. We missed you. Please know that we're there (or here) whenever you need us, or any one of us, and we know how to keep the snacks and the drinks (and the shovels) coming!
Hey there Ms. Btuda,
Welcome back. We missed you. You sound beat, most understandably.
Can you take a little "Me" time? (I'm sure Me wouldn't mind sharing in a good cause.) Stop and smell the roses... no wait, that would start those allergies up again. I've got it. You need to take another trip... with a chauffeur... out West. Ever been to Oregon? I understand Eugene is a happening place.
Whatever you do, know that we're thinking about you and sending positive vibes your way.
I'm definitely exhausted, but feeling pretty sane too. In rereading the post, the tempo seems weird to me, but that's probably the exhaustion showing through.
My sister the teacher is a control freak and insisted on driving 10 out of the 12 hours each way. I drove the rest (I just about had to wrestle the keys out of her hands) and poor DH just stayed out of it and slept in the back seat. I think he slept for about 10 hours each way. He said it was because he is still recouperating from the whooping cough, but I think he activated that little button on his butt that makes him fall asleep whenever he sits down.
I'll have to wait on the me time since I'm back to juggling the two jobs and DSS's soccer games. But boy is sleeping in on Saturday looking good.
Mary - I've never been to Oregon, but have wanted to for a long time. Someday, I hope.
I did wave to all the CBs as I drove through their states. I'd like to make the trip again under better circumstances and actually visit.
Me - how true on what is a funeral without a little drama. Poor DH was drafted to be a pallbearer (sp?) since everyone forgot about that part and then he ended up with a front row seat to drama central.
And I certainly have renewed sympathy and respect for anyone having to deal with a loved one suffering from Alzheimer's.
{{hugs}} Glad to have you back. Take a little down time to recooperate, be nice to yourself.
I'm so sorry I took so long to see this and offer my wishes for you. I hope you were able to take it a little easy after you got home.
My mom and my aunt are both very old but in good health. I tend to take them for granted and have to remind myself now and again that they won't always be around. I'm sorry for your loss.
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